Lighthearted Health Advisor Pillows

"Have you tried taking viagra Mr. Floppalottalus?"

"Do you guys serve beer?"

'Good news. Your cholesterol has stayed the same, but the research findings have changed.'

'Feel free to get a second opinion. I can give you the number to my mom.'

Govt. UK led by Seance

'Look at you. You're a basket case.'

'You were right, you are in the placebo group.'

'The Meaning of Life? -- you don't have a bad ticker, do you?'

"My doctor told me to get outdoors more, so now I put on more yard sales."

"Well, Mr Eagle, coming to see me is the first positive step to get you to soar again..."

'You are talking about health? Ha! My cig does not have calories, fat, cholesterol, carbohydrates and sugar!'

"You need to stop eating that sh*t."

'The items with the little hearts will clog your arteries the fastest.'

"Now they're saying shiny things attached to hooks are bad for you."

Jim's Smart Kettle

My fitness tracker said I was dead but I thought I'd better get a second opinion

Food Pyramid.

'Test results are back. Coffee, donuts, sleep deprivation. Doc, you've got to start taking better care of yourself.'

"Doctor, before we start you've got to promise me that I don't have to give up anything."

Vaping cigarette

'I should try the polyclinic, sir.'

Enormous obesity report.

I'll sleep better if I only drink one cup of coffee a day.

"You won't gain weight drinking beer here. The bathroom is three flights up."

'You can eat whatever you like on this diet, and here's a list of whatever you like.'

'Ahh...Just what the doctor ordered!'

'You're fat. I'm putting you on a diet.'

Group Insurance/Vitamins

"Say, Flo, did you make an appointment with a lifestyle counselor?"

'I don't care what anyone says! This is really hard work!'

"Stop watching ladies beach volleyball for a while."

'Take god care of your bacteria! it may well be the only culture you'll ever have....'

"I'm a doctor from the future, with revolutionary health advice. Exercise, drink plenty of water and eat your veggies."

"Trust me, we did the right thing, those cruise ships can be a hot-bed of germs."

Doctor using a crystal ball to diagnose patient,