Health Enthusiast With A Sense Of Humor Pillows

"Please don't give out fruit this Halloween! The neighborhood blog is still laughing at last year's Vampire Veggie tray!"

"Do you guys serve beer?"

'Your 'bad' cholesterol levels are right off the chart.'

'Side effects may include....'

'It's either a boo-boo or an owwie, but the doctors need to run some more tests before they decide.'

'You've got the worst case of whatever this is, I've ever seen.'

"I try to 'go with the flow' doc, but my prostate is an unwilling participant!"

'I understand you know how to treat a woman.'

'Tell the doctor to hurry. It's an emergency. I just turned middle aged!'

"I've had a sore throat ever since we moved near the airport!"

M.D. You burned a hole in your stomach --- eat only bland foods from now on! No more spicy food?! It's a season-ending injury!

Groups of menopausal women in clinic.

'I'm prescribing a laxative pill and a sleeping pill. Never, never take them together.'

"While you were under, I had all your friends come in and sign your heart stent."

"You have a heart murmur and I'm starting to hear your liver and kidneys complain."

NHS notice - This is a bring your own bed hospital

'We can't afford advertising like this! That's one page for the drug and two just for the side effects!'

'I'm sending you to see another doctor, he's a specialist in hyperchondria.'

"Tell me Mr. Jones. Does it hurt when I do this?"

"You're in the "Stone Age." You've got kidney stones, gall stones, and bladder stones."

'Yes doctor, it did hurt when you did that!'

"I didn't even get a balloon."

"It says here you've been experiencing peels of thunder�"

'I don't want you to give up eating entirely -- just the food part.'

"How am I supposed to trust my gut when it can't even handle a little dairy?"

'You are talking about health? Ha! My cig does not have calories, fat, cholesterol, carbohydrates and sugar!'

'Hey, Lori! Take a look at Mr. Geckler's EKG!'

'The doctors ruled out a remarkable recovery. You'll get better, they just don't think it'll be all that remarkable.'

'Give Mr. Fogarty his testosterone injection, Nurse, and then run like the dickens!'

'Yes, it is a carrot. You haven't been getting enough fibre.'

'Good morning Walters, I see you've mad a speedy recovery from your bout with smallpox!'

"You'll have to take this medication for the rest of your life, but don't worry it's non-addictive."

'Key hole surgery....but wouldn't it be easier if you were actually in the room with me...'

According to your chart, your leg is a pre-existing condition, Mr. Fusco. My entire body is a pre-existing condition, Doctor. (This cartoon was originally published on 2010-08-12).

"But doc, I can't understand what my body is telling me. It's mouth is always full!"