Lighthearted Foodie Gifts

The Church of DanaeDanaeism: 'It's a new commandment by the church of Danae...thou shalt make room for donuts.'

Party Animals.

'I used to think I was the only one kids hated... I don't know what I'd do if it weren't for you guys.'

'For a small extra charge, we can provide a specially-formulated digestive enzyme.'

Chef uses Harp to cut Sausages

"I can assure you ladies all our eggs come from free range chickens."

'Would you care for some fresh pepper? Well too bad, because all we have is these dried up old peppercorns.'

'Do you want us to wait till the meat is completely burned or can we call the pizza service right now?'

"You're really not too extreme, huh?"

"Yes, it's different...but I don't think Fondue Friday is going to last."

Snow & Flo series: Questionable cooking.

'This is gluten free, isn't it?'

'Hey, honey bun!'

"Dad, did you know Tia Carmen got a job at my school cafeteria?"

'Tasty bird.'

"Patience, you can have it back in a minute..."

"Mom, Eugene picked all the peanuts off the pizza!"

'I'll have the Chairman-of-the-board Lunch, and Dexter here will have the Sissy's Salad.'

'Sure, it's nourishing, but regurgitated fish is not what I would call a culinary feast...'

'Careful, the plate is really hot.'

Stand back - while I whip something up

'What kind of...'

'I recommend looking down your wife's top, sir.'

The vegan hunter

'The birthday boy gets the first piece of cake. What'll it be, Burl?'

"I can see that you're a cultured individual..."

'Well, so far the only ones to answer our fondue party invitation are the rats in our basement.'

"Have you ever licked cream off a woman's body?"

Outsaucing - A dollop of sauce has been put on a customer's plate from a long arm from afar.

"... Flirting with your boyfriend?... Oh, sorry dear. I thought he was the waiter."

"Oh, no thank you. I’m rumaki-free."

"Is this business or pleasure?"