Lighthearted Foodie Gifts

The Church of DanaeDanaeism: 'It's a new commandment by the church of Danae...thou shalt make room for donuts.'

Party Animals.

'I used to think I was the only one kids hated... I don't know what I'd do if it weren't for you guys.'

'For a small extra charge, we can provide a specially-formulated digestive enzyme.'

Chef uses Harp to cut Sausages

"I can assure you ladies all our eggs come from free range chickens."

'Would you care for some fresh pepper? Well too bad, because all we have is these dried up old peppercorns.'

'Do you want us to wait till the meat is completely burned or can we call the pizza service right now?'

"You're really not too extreme, huh?"

Snow & Flo series: Questionable cooking.

Al's Diner. Special: Spaghetti. All You Can Eat $3.95. Ernie, don't play with your food unless you're sure you can win.

"Yes, it's different...but I don't think Fondue Friday is going to last."

F&E Subs. Hey, you replaced the little swords with periscope-shaped toothpicks! Nice touch, Ernie!

'This is gluten free, isn't it?'

'Tasty bird.'

"Dad, did you know Tia Carmen got a job at my school cafeteria?"

'Hey, honey bun!'

'Careful, the plate is really hot.'

'Sure, it's nourishing, but regurgitated fish is not what I would call a culinary feast...'

'I'll have the Chairman-of-the-board Lunch, and Dexter here will have the Sissy's Salad.'

"Patience, you can have it back in a minute..."

"Mom, Eugene picked all the peanuts off the pizza!"

Stand back - while I whip something up

'Well, so far the only ones to answer our fondue party invitation are the rats in our basement.'

"I can see that you're a cultured individual..."

'I recommend looking down your wife's top, sir.'

'What kind of...'

The vegan hunter

'The birthday boy gets the first piece of cake. What'll it be, Burl?'

"Just keep your eyes closed - it'll only upset you."

Barry's new George Foreman Grill warned him anytime the meat was being overcooked.

"Have you ever licked cream off a woman's body?"

Outsaucing - A dollop of sauce has been put on a customer's plate from a long arm from afar.

"Oh, no thank you. I’m rumaki-free."

"... Flirting with your boyfriend?... Oh, sorry dear. I thought he was the waiter."