Fun-loving Foodie Gifts

'Do you want us to wait till the meat is completely burned or can we call the pizza service right now?'

'What a pity. I thought they were made of cake...'

What a fun-sized candy bar should look like.

'Have you noticed the only type of peanuts you get down here are roasted.'

"So, that's 'flambe'..."

"Wine? We serve it by the glass, or by the six-pack."

'Well, so far the only ones to answer our fondue party invitation are the rats in our basement.'

"Mom, Eugene picked all the peanuts off the pizza!"

"Oops! I'm sorry...your scoop fell out."

"Jean-Pierre, homemade caviar for table six, please!"

"Yes, it's different...but I don't think Fondue Friday is going to last."

Speak your Weight machine with fat kid - 'I can't speak your weight...You've winded me!'

"You're becoming very clued up, where's all this knowledge coming from?"

'Sure, it's nourishing, but regurgitated fish is not what I would call a culinary feast...'

'What do you mean you can't wait to get me into the sack?'

Snow & Flo series: Questionable cooking.

Party Animals.

"My compliments to whoever opened the can."

Diners sit in high chairs, wear bibs and eat baby food. Man says: 'I love this place, it's just so retro.'

'The birthday boy gets the first piece of cake. What'll it be, Burl?'

'Is it true you have the best milkshakes in town?' (Cow on a pogo stick).

'Cannibal!'

Barry's new George Foreman Grill warned him anytime the meat was being overcooked.

"Next time I'm feeling low remind me how silly asparagi look while they grow."

F&E Subs. Hey, you replaced the little swords with periscope-shaped toothpicks! Nice touch, Ernie!

Would you like to lick the bowl, Lance? What did you make? I don

Al's Diner. Special: Spaghetti. All You Can Eat $3.95. Ernie, don't play with your food unless you're sure you can win.

Menu. Hey barista, I'll take a half skim, half low-fat, no foam, lightly chilled milk.

Sandwich Fail

"Fresh pepper?"

"I remember his last words were, 'Another bite and I'll burst!'..."

'For a small extra charge, we can provide a specially-formulated digestive enzyme.'

Craft Donuts vs. Craft Beer

Chef uses Harp to cut Sausages

"Can we get some more bread sticks over here?"