Lighthearted Family Humor Lover Pillows

"In honor of you being a great mom, I've decided to be good. This is only temporary, as I'm only human."

"Couldn't you have just laughed instead of spelling 'LOL' in your alphabet soup?"

Suffering from Cooties?

'Thank goodness you were wrong mom, dad says a period is what comes at the end of a sentence.'

"If you insist on doing all the voices, Dad. Don't you think father bear should have a deeper voice than Goldilocks?"

"Great job of acting! You really appeared excited about Aunt May's 'famous' green bean casserole."

My 5-year-old nephew cut his hair! His mom was so upset until she thought: 'Wait a minute! I just saved 12 bucks!'

"You're crappin' in the closet again, Claude."

'Why is it taking so long to eat your soup?'

'It was romantic before we had kids. Build some stairs.'

"Good work Tim, you snatch it all: none of this sharing with your brother nonsense..."

"After I fix your laptop, can I have a bedtime story?"

"Good news. It wasn't a toxic chemical leak. It was an old pizza in your kid's room."

"So kids, you got work from your teachers right?"

"I told my mom either the sitter goes, or I go!"

'I'm doing a school report on 'the aging process,' Dad -- can I interview you?'

"We're going to pay for your obedience school but after that you're on your own."

"We've intended to ask you about it for some time, Doctor, but never got around to it."

"I'm back. My family didn't want to spend more time with me."

'I'm going to bed...whatever...'

"Young man, you go march your butt right back up those stairs and don't come down until you've made yourself look presentable!"

'Honey, the babysitter's here.'

"Remember this about new babysitters - making rules and enforcing them are two different things.".

Mummy?!

"I can't mow the lawn today. A bug just flew up my nose."

"Mom, when the baby's born, can I have the bubble wrap it's shipped in?"

'His dad was!'

'He didn't learn that from me!'

"Yes, "breeding like rabbits" is often used in a pejorative sense. The truth is, we don't care as we love having kids..."

'I want you to bring me one.'

'Jimmie, run and tell your dad the tractor is flooded.'

"Okay, just one story. Once upon a time, there was a naughty little boy who wouldn't go to sleep."