Lighthearted Family Humor Lover Pillows

"In honor of you being a great mom, I've decided to be good. This is only temporary, as I'm only human."

"Couldn't you have just laughed instead of spelling 'LOL' in your alphabet soup?"

'Thank goodness you were wrong mom, dad says a period is what comes at the end of a sentence.'

Suffering from Cooties?

"If you insist on doing all the voices, Dad. Don't you think father bear should have a deeper voice than Goldilocks?"

"Great job of acting! You really appeared excited about Aunt May's 'famous' green bean casserole."

My 5-year-old nephew cut his hair! His mom was so upset until she thought: 'Wait a minute! I just saved 12 bucks!'

The Family Joules: Part 5

"You're crappin' in the closet again, Claude."

"Good work Tim, you snatch it all: none of this sharing with your brother nonsense..."

'Why is it taking so long to eat your soup?'

'It was romantic before we had kids. Build some stairs.'

"After I fix your laptop, can I have a bedtime story?"

"Good news. It wasn't a toxic chemical leak. It was an old pizza in your kid's room."

"I'll bet you're very proud of your handsome, well-behaved little sporks here."

"We've intended to ask you about it for some time, Doctor, but never got around to it."

"So kids, you got work from your teachers right?"

"We're going to pay for your obedience school but after that you're on your own."

'I'm doing a school report on 'the aging process,' Dad -- can I interview you?'

"I told my mom either the sitter goes, or I go!"

"I'm back. My family didn't want to spend more time with me."

'Honey, the babysitter's here.'

'Jimmie, run and tell your dad the tractor is flooded.'

'His dad was!'

"Yeah, he's very like his father isn't he?"

'I want you to bring me one.'

'He didn't learn that from me!'

'I'm going to bed...whatever...'

Mummy?!

"Okay, just one story. Once upon a time, there was a naughty little boy who wouldn't go to sleep."

Honey, I'm home. Did you change Kyle's diaper?

"Young man, you go march your butt right back up those stairs and don't come down until you've made yourself look presentable!"

"I can't mow the lawn today. A bug just flew up my nose."

"Mom, when the baby's born, can I have the bubble wrap it's shipped in?"

"Remember this about new babysitters - making rules and enforcing them are two different things.".