Fan Of Family Humor Pillows

'It was romantic before we had kids. Build some stairs.'

"Couldn't you have just laughed instead of spelling 'LOL' in your alphabet soup?"

'What the... MOM! This isn't deer! It's a yucky tourist again!!'

Facts of life - The birds and the dogs.

"Honey, you're spoiling that child."

My Dad, trying to look young. The cap hides his bald spot and the sweatshirt hides his gut!

"Look what I found. Can we keep him?" "Wow! A real pirate!!" "Go ask your mother."

"I don't know, kids. I've been a stay-at-home dad for so long it just sort of... happened."

"I haven't started playing the violin. I hide my vegetables in here!"

'Thank goodness you were wrong mom, dad says a period is what comes at the end of a sentence.'

Suffering from Cooties?

'Stop cracking and hulling his seeds. He's accustomed to working for his food.'

'Well, he definitely has his father's... Er... Eyes.'

"If you insist on doing all the voices, Dad. Don't you think father bear should have a deeper voice than Goldilocks?"

Dad Trophies

"Great job of acting! You really appeared excited about Aunt May's 'famous' green bean casserole."

'It's no problem, Mom. Samantha just likes to check on my table manners.'

My 5-year-old nephew cut his hair! His mom was so upset until she thought: 'Wait a minute! I just saved 12 bucks!'

'Fancy us all being afraid of wasps when there's a WHOLE nest of 'em in my drinks cabinet!'

"I don't know why I worry...Baldo's just a normal boy. It's good to see him maturing...making friends...with nice girls...exploring new feelings...and desires.... You have to go home now."

Rabies on board - a couple of rabid babies.

"How many times have I told you kids to hang your coats in the closet?"

"You're crappin' in the closet again, Claude."

"Okay, you scared the babysitter...now get back in there and rinse off that toothpaste, and go to bed!"

The Family Joules: Part 5

'Why is it taking so long to eat your soup?'

"After I fix your laptop, can I have a bedtime story?"

"Good work Tim, you snatch it all: none of this sharing with your brother nonsense..."

'I have a limited vocabulary because I'm a child, what's your excuse?'

"Good news. It wasn't a toxic chemical leak. It was an old pizza in your kid's room."

"You can't make me eat Brussel sprouts Mum: it's illegal to force-feed geese in this country!"

"I told my mom either the sitter goes, or I go!"

"You want to be a comedian? You can't be serious!"

"I'll bet you're very proud of your handsome, well-behaved little sporks here."

"We've intended to ask you about it for some time, Doctor, but never got around to it."