Lightbulb Collector Gifts

"Got any lightbulbs that WON'T BE the last ones I'll ever buy?"

'Click.'- 'Faster, damn you!!!'

Man to realtor: 'How much for a starter cubicle?'

Dear, could you please pick up some batteries? The ones in the remote are dead and I feel like I'm Amish.

"These are the very weapons your mother and I used in our famous duel."

Rudolph goes green (compact flourescent nose)

'It's genuine 17th century satsuma - and the pair would have been worth ?14,000.'

Man showing in the rain.

A little something aside for a rainy day

'If I told you what I wished for, you'd probably slap me.'

'Ideas.com' desk with a 'come' tray and a 'gone' tray.

'Heirloom Tiffany Lamp Delivery. I Brake for Everything.'

'It's a farton, fartoff lamp!'

Glass and Porcelain Store: Elephants must remain outside.

Raining

The Reason Ed isn't mentioned in the bible.

His cubicle had come to be known as 'Teddy Bear Heaven'.

"Are you happy with your current ball?"

"We were having a great conversation and then someone clapped."

'...So you claim this is genuine Rembrandt?'

"Sure, it's a break you can live with... but screw one more socket and you're toast!"

'... Going once...going twice...aaaand--sold! To the gentleman in the front row for a thousand words.'

"At least the anti-public education folks haven't started to try to dictate what we can have for lunch."

"Well, they did call for localized showers."

No, I'm not going to aim at that mouse, either!

"Twenty-five thousand, do I hear thirty thousand? Let me remind you all - this is the last Thin Mint cookie in the sleeve..."

'You don't need a weather forecast. Just read mother natures' signs carefully and you know that it will start raining soon.'

Horse racing puns

"I'm glad I don't have to put gas in it. the downside is that it takes a lot of time to put 3,000 AA batteries in it."

'Sorry...I don't deal with lease issues.'

"Fetch, Ernie, fetch!"

COVID-19 vaccine umbrella.

"Throw me somethin', mister."

"I wonder what this was for."

Chivalrous Snowman