Lightbulb Collector Pillows

"Got any lightbulbs that WON'T BE the last ones I'll ever buy?"

'Click.'- 'Faster, damn you!!!'

Man to realtor: 'How much for a starter cubicle?'

Dear, could you please pick up some batteries? The ones in the remote are dead and I feel like I'm Amish.

"These are the very weapons your mother and I used in our famous duel."

Rudolph goes green (compact flourescent nose)

'It's genuine 17th century satsuma - and the pair would have been worth ?14,000.'

'If I told you what I wished for, you'd probably slap me.'

A little something aside for a rainy day

Man showing in the rain.

'Ideas.com' desk with a 'come' tray and a 'gone' tray.

'It's a farton, fartoff lamp!'

'Heirloom Tiffany Lamp Delivery. I Brake for Everything.'

Glass and Porcelain Store: Elephants must remain outside.

The Reason Ed isn't mentioned in the bible.

Raining

His cubicle had come to be known as 'Teddy Bear Heaven'.

"Are you happy with your current ball?"

"Sure, it's a break you can live with... but screw one more socket and you're toast!"

'... Going once...going twice...aaaand--sold! To the gentleman in the front row for a thousand words.'

"We were having a great conversation and then someone clapped."

'...So you claim this is genuine Rembrandt?'

'You don't need a weather forecast. Just read mother natures' signs carefully and you know that it will start raining soon.'

"I'm glad I don't have to put gas in it. the downside is that it takes a lot of time to put 3,000 AA batteries in it."

"Twenty-five thousand, do I hear thirty thousand? Let me remind you all - this is the last Thin Mint cookie in the sleeve..."

"Well, they did call for localized showers."

"At least the anti-public education folks haven't started to try to dictate what we can have for lunch."

Horse racing puns

'Sorry...I don't deal with lease issues.'

"Fetch, Ernie, fetch!"

COVID-19 vaccine umbrella.

"I wonder what this was for."

Man with candle in thought bubble, "Ideas before Edison"

Chivalrous Snowman

"Throw me somethin', mister."