Light Speed Fan Pillows

'186,282.4 miles per second'? -- Couldn't you make it come out even?'

"Now that I have everyone's attention..."

"What old school? This is my life."

Hey, dad, do you think we could play something besides "catch"?

"Hon, do you think it's time you took a break from the light therapy lamp?"

'They're bound to hurt at first.'

Sandy Floss

A Mime Artist pretending to feed the pigeons.

"This next song is also about air-conditioning."

"In your own time, Brian, in your own time."

Boy throws a stick for a tortoise. By the time the tortoise returns, the boy is an old man.

You're the first person who's ever actually stopped! Emu.

'I havn't finished last years Marathon yet...'

"You know that thing where you stand like a statue, then move real fast, then stand like a statue again? You totally stole that from me."

"Either Bob lost weight or you jammed too much helium into those balloons."

'God's teeth - it's just not the same!'

"I'm doing my part to conserve electricity."

'I want to be a philosopher Mum: Lots of thinking and no physical work...'

Street Musician

Happy Xmas

'I think he's trying to pawn his air guitar.'

The Automatic Policeman

Manager please give 10%

String quartet leave 4 different sized cases to collect their busking money.

"Sssay, you're a real charmer!"

'It's just a laser pointer, Mr. President. It's not a little mouse. Don't let people distract you with these things...Mr. President?..Hello!?'

After review, the replay confirms a touchdown, and also that big, jiggly bellies look hilarious in slow motion.

'On Sundays I play organ at the church, and Gojo passes the plate.'

'Finished! You see, I'm not slow at everything: I'm a great speed-reader...'

Roverdance.

'Whoah, look! Jed's got new wheels!'

'Wow! She's fast. She even had time to do her shopping!'

'Dinna play golf in your kilt.'

Man singing 'I've lost that loving feeling' outside infertility clinic.

'There's the Swiss busker across the road.' (Alpine horn)