Light Speed Fan Gifts

"Now that I have everyone's attention..."

"What old school? This is my life."

"Hon, do you think it's time you took a break from the light therapy lamp?"

Sandy Floss

'They're bound to hurt at first.'

A Mime Artist pretending to feed the pigeons.

"This next song is also about air-conditioning."

Boy throws a stick for a tortoise. By the time the tortoise returns, the boy is an old man.

'I havn't finished last years Marathon yet...'

"You know that thing where you stand like a statue, then move real fast, then stand like a statue again? You totally stole that from me."

'God's teeth - it's just not the same!'

"I'm doing my part to conserve electricity."

Happy Xmas

'I want to be a philosopher Mum: Lots of thinking and no physical work...'

Street Musician

The Automatic Policeman

'It's just a laser pointer, Mr. President. It's not a little mouse. Don't let people distract you with these things...Mr. President?..Hello!?'

'Finished! You see, I'm not slow at everything: I'm a great speed-reader...'

String quartet leave 4 different sized cases to collect their busking money.

Manager please give 10%

"Sssay, you're a real charmer!"

'On Sundays I play organ at the church, and Gojo passes the plate.'

Roverdance.

'Wow! She's fast. She even had time to do her shopping!'

'Dinna play golf in your kilt.'

Man singing 'I've lost that loving feeling' outside infertility clinic.

"My mom really works at keeping my lunches interesting!"

Einstein discovers that light travels at 65 MPH.