Laser Fan Pillows

"Now that I have everyone's attention..."

'It's just a laser pointer, Mr. President. It's not a little mouse. Don't let people distract you with these things...Mr. President?..Hello!?'

Race track - with the race being to apply the white lines between lanes

My other car has a bumper sticker that says this on it too.

Birds on the wing

"No threat detected. Their vast resources are spent on lasers that combat wrinkles and unwanted hair."

Optician and the PI.

'Sure I said I love 'new car smell', but not as an aftershave.'

'Since you lost your job you're really taking this 'taxi-driver for your kids' thing seriously, Dad.'

'I believe you were first.'

"Judging by your X-rays, I'd say you've been exposed to too much radiation."

"You know that thing where you stand like a statue, then move real fast, then stand like a statue again? You totally stole that from me."

The Power of 3D Glasses.

'I want to be a philosopher Mum: Lots of thinking and no physical work...'

The Priceless Ming Vase Relays.

Bored kid fighting off an alien attack.

'Soon I will have proved it ONCE AND FOR ALL!'

The Race

Angry pensioner

Surgical equipment burning a hole through the table.

'My gosh...It's like looking in the mirror.'

Cylinder Head

"You're carrying a spare tire for an 18-wheeler but you're driving a mid-size sedan."

'When you asked me to follow your husband at work you didn't tell me he was a Formula One driver.'

Sprinting speeding ticket

"The particle physicists get all the chicks."

On your mark, get set, go!

It was only a matter of time until Gertrude turned into a grumpy cat.

High School Science Project Competition

'No wonder you can't see it properly - you've got your reading glasses on under the 3D glasses!'