Running Fan Pillows

'I havn't finished last years Marathon yet...'

"I never dreamed we'd migrate."

Race track - with the race being to apply the white lines between lanes

My other car has a bumper sticker that says this on it too.

"Yes, go and play, but be careful, there are a few thermals around: make sure you're not lifted too high..."

"If you think I ride too fast, Susan...just say so!"

I travelled to get away from it all. All I got away from was my luggage.

"I've heard this airline's got some unusual inflight entertainment."

'Good luck, everyone! Maybe this will be the year somebody finishes the race!'

'Geoffrey's kit car can go from nought to upside down in under nine seconds.'

Caliologist

In addition to dusting crops, McWit now rotates them.

Formula One car origami

Hammer Thrower - "Let go of it!"

'Sure I said I love 'new car smell', but not as an aftershave.'

Centaur Sprinter

Pig Trotter

"Yes, the migration flight home is always faster, but it's thanks to the prevailing winds, not just because we're keen to get home..."

The Bagel Wheel Derby.

'I was this close to the finish line and then somebody threw a stick!'

'I believe you were first.'

'Since you lost your job you're really taking this 'taxi-driver for your kids' thing seriously, Dad.'

"You know that thing where you stand like a statue, then move real fast, then stand like a statue again? You totally stole that from me."

"All those years studying mayhem. All that postgraduate work in looting and pillaging; and here I am, rowing the friggin' boat."

Plastic Brits: 'Apprehend that fleetfooted alien and naturalise him for Team GB!'

'They're halfway through the six-meter dash. At this pace, the winner should break the world record by at least 24 hours!'

Racing pit crew member holds sign for driver: Stop And Ask For Directions.

'Sorry Son, I might be the fastest animal on land, but I don't think I could catch the Gingerbread Man...'

The Priceless Ming Vase Relays.

The Race

"I ask the jury, who among us would not have done the same, if given ready access to a huge vat of cheese and a lives streaming social media feed?"

Man planning on standing on a turntable to aid hammer throw.

'Soon I will have proved it ONCE AND FOR ALL!'