Running Fan T-Shirts

'I havn't finished last years Marathon yet...'

"I never dreamed we'd migrate."

Race track - with the race being to apply the white lines between lanes

"Yes, go and play, but be careful, there are a few thermals around: make sure you're not lifted too high..."

My other car has a bumper sticker that says this on it too.

"If you think I ride too fast, Susan...just say so!"

"I've heard this airline's got some unusual inflight entertainment."

I travelled to get away from it all. All I got away from was my luggage.

'This Mouse is going to be huge!'

'Good luck, everyone! Maybe this will be the year somebody finishes the race!'

'Geoffrey's kit car can go from nought to upside down in under nine seconds.'

Starvation Watching

Caliologist

In addition to dusting crops, McWit now rotates them.

Formula One car origami

Hammer Thrower - "Let go of it!"

The Bagel Wheel Derby.

'Sure I said I love 'new car smell', but not as an aftershave.'

Centaur Sprinter

"Yes, the migration flight home is always faster, but it's thanks to the prevailing winds, not just because we're keen to get home..."

Pig Trotter

'I was this close to the finish line and then somebody threw a stick!'

Daily News Headline Dept. Editor. Here's a story about a guy who shaved his race horse to cut wind resistance, and the horse got a terrible sunburn. "A pony shaved is a pony burned"!

'Since you lost your job you're really taking this 'taxi-driver for your kids' thing seriously, Dad.'

'I believe you were first.'

"You know that thing where you stand like a statue, then move real fast, then stand like a statue again? You totally stole that from me."

'They're halfway through the six-meter dash. At this pace, the winner should break the world record by at least 24 hours!'

"All those years studying mayhem. All that postgraduate work in looting and pillaging; and here I am, rowing the friggin' boat."

Racing pit crew member holds sign for driver: Stop And Ask For Directions.

'Sorry Son, I might be the fastest animal on land, but I don't think I could catch the Gingerbread Man...'

Plastic Brits: 'Apprehend that fleetfooted alien and naturalise him for Team GB!'

"Protein bars! Energy drinks!"

The Race

"I ask the jury, who among us would not have done the same, if given ready access to a huge vat of cheese and a lives streaming social media feed?"

Man planning on standing on a turntable to aid hammer throw.