Life-support Laugh Seeker Pillows

"I give up. Where's the patient?'

Sympathetic nursing will work wonders

Bad fake tan day.

"That'll be five bucks."

The only time cats are known to laugh.

"Don't you just hate restaurants that make you feel rushed?"

"Just because we're hyenas doesn't mean we always have to get Laughing Cow cheese."

"Brian's fine. He`s got his own coping mechanism."

"I used to drink to forget. Now, age-related, short-term memory loss takes care of that for me."

Would you be willing to sign something regarding the fat content of your burger? Like what? My colon.

'Ben just fired my ten guage goose gun. He should be coming back this way any minute now.'

"What did Jesus order?"

Wet Cement. Always the joker, aren't you, Ernie?

'No Fred, this one is one me!'

"I'm not a doctor, but I don't think the problem is with your bladder, Bob."

'Do years 4, 5 and 6 cover the other foot?'

"Projectile hairballing."

Drunk Barber

"Hey! Get back here!"

'When Johhny told everyone he was going to be a comedian they all laughed...'

"Why don't I clang some utensils, make 3 grilled cheese sandwiches and we call it an early night?"

he used to belong to a cartoonist

'Because I'm so sick of those movies, now go get me a romantic comedy.'

Jerk Gene

'Ha, ha! But seriously folks...'

'You got twenty years for hunting without a license? Kind of stiff, isn't it?'

Football heads...

"My next witness is his Google Assistant."

"I've always wanted to do this - 'knock, knock...who's there?'"

'When Einstein wrote about time and relativity he must have been watching a football game where the last 30 seconds took two hours.'

Bald Man Overcomb

"Ok. . . who added the yellow?"

'He's not in now. This is his secwatawy.'

Ask Sadie

Comedy Store - Canned Laughter delivery.