Life-support Laugh Seeker Gifts

"I give up. Where's the patient?'

Sympathetic nursing will work wonders

Bad fake tan day.

"That'll be five bucks."

"Don't you just hate restaurants that make you feel rushed?"

"Brian's fine. He`s got his own coping mechanism."

"Just because we're hyenas doesn't mean we always have to get Laughing Cow cheese."

"I used to drink to forget. Now, age-related, short-term memory loss takes care of that for me."

'No Fred, this one is one me!'

'Do years 4, 5 and 6 cover the other foot?'

"I'm not a doctor, but I don't think the problem is with your bladder, Bob."

'Ben just fired my ten guage goose gun. He should be coming back this way any minute now.'

"What did Jesus order?"

"Projectile hairballing."

Drunk Barber

"Why don't I clang some utensils, make 3 grilled cheese sandwiches and we call it an early night?"

he used to belong to a cartoonist

"Hey! Get back here!"

'When Johhny told everyone he was going to be a comedian they all laughed...'

'Because I'm so sick of those movies, now go get me a romantic comedy.'

Jerk Gene

'Ha, ha! But seriously folks...'

"I've always wanted to do this - 'knock, knock...who's there?'"

Football heads...

Bald Man Overcomb

'You got twenty years for hunting without a license? Kind of stiff, isn't it?'

"My next witness is his Google Assistant."

"Ok. . . who added the yellow?"

Comedy Store - Canned Laughter delivery.

"From here on out it's term and conditions."

'He's not in now. This is his secwatawy.'