Faith-full Laugh Seeker Gifts

'I do wish he'd stop showing off in front of his friends.'

Bad fake tan day.

"That'll be five bucks."

The new piece of the armor of God, "the facemask of fearlessness."

''No other gods before me'? Oh - You're one of THOSE types.'

'Even More Disciples'

"I give up. Where's the patient?'

'What do you call money that slides off the collection plate?'

Jesus breaks the bread.

"From here on out it's term and conditions."

"Wow. I just had a near life experience!"

'I don't understand. Why do you want to have your arms extended?'

Cross Umbrella

"200,000 other people have also highlighted this passage of the E-book, you common idiot."

"I finished my act. Could you come over and give me a hand?"

'One really nice thing up here is that it's always very easy to get an audience with a Pope.'

'Fathers Day.'

'Your heart is slightly larger but that's because you're an animal lover.'

Cheesus

"Family vacation is an oxymoron."

"My children, Pastor. This is 'Forgive' and this is 'Forget'."

"Because he didn't even change your name. That's how I know he was talking about you."

"I'm having a dry October. . . October 2045."

Arnold had not been much of a saint in his life and now he paid the price.

"Finished feeding the 5000. What do you want to do with the left over fish?"

"Have you tried the David and Goliath cocktail?"

"Right. Money isn't everything - what's the other thing again?"

"Hello! Go ahead, Syracuse, New York."

'It's an obvious case of identity theft.'

'Don't worry about it, Son — Kleptomania runs in the family.'

"… open the doors, and see all the people."

'Listen, be fair, George - it's your TURN to take Mrs McCarthy for her lesson.'