Faith And Laughter Lover Gifts

"Because he didn't even change your name. That's how I know he was talking about you."

"I'm afraid I can't green-light anything - you'll just have to pray."

"... And finally, I’d like to thank the FDA for approving Botox."

Snowprov

'Holy-Kanoly' makes his infamous 'Leap-of-Faith' jump.

'How's everyone doing tonight - that is the question.'

Clown's Comedy Fart.

Acme-5000 Lie Detector

"Why can't you just learn to floss like other men?"

Please stand by. As stocks soar, our announcer is having a fit of the giggles.

"Don't forget to rate us on stable-BnB."

'Your Chef's Surprise, sir -- a sauteed whoopee cushion.'

'Can't you give the dummy mouth to mouth without getting romantically involved Mrs Wilks?'

'She loves me, she loves me not, she loves me...'

Pastor puts up sign on pole stating that he is 'serving' his 1,000th sermon.

'Funny in my day they all looked like WInston Churchill.'

"I had a consultation with a plastic surgeon. Now I have to decide whether I want to look old or look weird."

'If you're a nun, where's your nunchucks?'

Beer Van and Ice Cream Van

"I'm sorry I really can't take you seriously."

Eucharist

'Now, where was I when the lectern collapsed?'

'Doors opening.' - 'Doors closing.' - 'Doors bored now.'

'What shall we watch - best security videos of 2013 or operating room bloopers, blunders and bleeps?'

"Well, I deal with death and carrion every day: Laughing is a therapeutic way of avoiding depression..."

"Target in range. Ready... hug."

"And the Lord he sayeth 'doest thou thinkest I knoweth not who sniggereth at the back there?'"

'Is there any way we could ease into these GRADUALLY?'

'Scientists have confirmed that smiling is contagious.'

"Over the long haul, it's been a long haul."

"No, dummy...that's not how we use a napkin!"

Amy Schumer

Stand-up comedy while you're away at work. 'What's the deal with fetching? ...And they expect you to run and go get it, so why did they throw it in the first place?' 'Ha! Ha! It's funny because it's true!'

'MILK FIGHT!'

"First, you have to get their attention."