Faith And Laughter Lover Pillows

"Because he didn't even change your name. That's how I know he was talking about you."

"I'm afraid I can't green-light anything - you'll just have to pray."

"... And finally, I’d like to thank the FDA for approving Botox."

Snowprov

'Holy-Kanoly' makes his infamous 'Leap-of-Faith' jump.

'How's everyone doing tonight - that is the question.'

Acme-5000 Lie Detector

"Why can't you just learn to floss like other men?"

"Don't forget to rate us on stable-BnB."

Please stand by. As stocks soar, our announcer is having a fit of the giggles.

'Your Chef's Surprise, sir -- a sauteed whoopee cushion.'

'Can't you give the dummy mouth to mouth without getting romantically involved Mrs Wilks?'

'She loves me, she loves me not, she loves me...'

'Funny in my day they all looked like WInston Churchill.'

"I had a consultation with a plastic surgeon. Now I have to decide whether I want to look old or look weird."

Pastor puts up sign on pole stating that he is 'serving' his 1,000th sermon.

'If you're a nun, where's your nunchucks?'

"Target in range. Ready... hug."

'Now, where was I when the lectern collapsed?'

"And the Lord he sayeth 'doest thou thinkest I knoweth not who sniggereth at the back there?'"

Beer Van and Ice Cream Van

'Doors opening.' - 'Doors closing.' - 'Doors bored now.'

"I'm sorry I really can't take you seriously."

Eucharist

"Well, I deal with death and carrion every day: Laughing is a therapeutic way of avoiding depression..."

'What shall we watch - best security videos of 2013 or operating room bloopers, blunders and bleeps?'

'Is there any way we could ease into these GRADUALLY?'

"Over the long haul, it's been a long haul."

Stand-up comedy while you're away at work. 'What's the deal with fetching? ...And they expect you to run and go get it, so why did they throw it in the first place?' 'Ha! Ha! It's funny because it's true!'

'Scientists have confirmed that smiling is contagious.'

'MILK FIGHT!'

"First, you have to get their attention."

'In conclusion, it's more blessed to give than retrieve.'