Life Pace Analyzer Gifts

The Age of Reptiles. . .

"Is this what I want to be doing with my death?"

"She's really nice and I didn't want to hurt her feelings, so here we are."

"If it's all random, why are you always here?"

dog reading EKG

'Listen, Geoffrey ...I know you're a clinical psychologist, but I DON'T have A.D.D. ! You're just incredibly boring.'

Give me a child at seven and I will show you the MAN!

"When you say you love your life, should I be happy for you?"

'I'm not mad! I'm fuming!'

Seven males, ranging in age from a baby to an old man, wait in a line monitored by a uniformed guard.

"Because you always do that with your fingers."

Street sign: 'Life gets even more complicated here to corner.'

'You were a boring accountant in ten previous lives.'

Protests

"With proper editing, I've had a good life."

Ages of man.

Kiss me quik dating service

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"So, what inspired you to study engineering, get married, find a job, move to the suburbs, have a couple of kids, and grow old?"

"The number one reason for divorce is marriage."

The Grumpometer.

'No specials will be seen tonight, so that we may bring you our regularly-scheduled programs....'

If life was a swimming pool, everyone would be in the shallow end.

Providers struggle to come to terms with longevity issues...

'Sometimes she's like a wave, sometimes she's like a particle.'

Memoirs

"Somehow I thought the whole thing would be a lot classier!"

Actress on botox expressing emotion.

'I'd just like to go back to the 'all this' that Ed took me away from.'

'Does the soundtrack to my life always have to be played on a wobble board?'

'I feel I've finally achieved closure in our relationship.'