Life Musings Fan Gifts

"Life is like a bowl of cherries. Hard plastic on the inside. Cheese spread on the top."

YOLO vs YODO

'With these alternative fertility treatments you never quite know how things turn out,'

Bob woke up in a pile of notes, some scrawled so quickly that no one could decode them. He remembered nothing of the night before, except... yes, a fleeting glimpse of the writer's moon.

George Washington's sister was always getting him into trouble.

"I'm not a mad dog. But I'm not particularly happy either."

'Tell the doctor to hurry. It's an emergency. I just turned middle aged!'

"Today on Escape to the Country Emily & Oliver are looking for that special little property in the Cotswolds. So what exactly's going to tick all their boxes?"

"Careful George. You don't want to hurt our baby boy."

'Sometimes I scare myself when I realize that I always was and always will be.'

'Quit playing kick ball with your brother!'

'Psst, buddy -- Apocrypha!'

'Today's unwilling nude model is Ralph.'

Mom - You gave me the best years of your life.

Thoughts of Stephen Harper...

'I could really do with a change, couldn't you?'

"Dad! Woody's taking all the fun out of the Easter egg hunt!"

"I've been living vicariously through a really boring person."

Devil paints God.

"Whose great idea was the four four two formation."

"Think, man! Think! How did you get this old so fast?!"

"And so one could say that my work examines art as an expression of objecthood where the object is neither the art nor the object but rather the practice of intentionality."

"Now you've done it!"

"Oh, now I remember you. You live in that big shoe on the corner."

"Somehow, Daniel, you're not as cute as you used to be, and you're beginning to lose our attention."

'Dad, can you just drop me off here?'

"I had a dream that I was awake and trying to sleep and now I don't know what's going on."

'That's what you get for reaching in the cookie jar.'

"When you kiss me Daddy, your whiskers tickle me!"

'Are you sure your grandpa REALLY got your nose?'

"Oh good. Here comes Mrs. Wood with her grandson, the Achilles heel."

"Here are the details for that project I wanted urgently which you have been chasing me for for months. It is in pencil as I am likely to change my mind again..."

'Life is ruining your health.'

Assisted suicide.