Lexical Explorer Gifts

Inclusion of the word coronavirus in dictionary

Ed Flanders, Deconstruction Worker

Teacher pointing to P,Q, on board: "OK class, which letter comes next? Redbeard, you should know this."

"Thanks for walking a mile in my shoe but it's beginning to hurt now."

"Would you relax? All you guys are so tense. I just wanted to tell you to your face how enigmatic I find you."

Why we need poetry. . .

"No, I really thought each sentence ended with an emoji!"

'Nurse, why is there always a fly in my ointment?'

Ninedency: A budding tendency

"I'm still pre-literate."

"It's great to see Biff; Socksie the cat is out of the bag..."

"It's an honest mistake I'm sure we'll never hear of again."

'the selling of seashells by the seashore was sluggish.'

"Today I came across antiderenuclearizationalityness."

"I believe it was called 'cursive'."

"I won't be in today, I'm feeling a little under the coffee table."

The Elephant in the Womb

'... Going once...going twice...aaaand--sold! To the gentleman in the front row for a thousand words.'

'You always talk about robbing Peter to pay Paul, but you never mention Mary.'

"...L...uh, M...uh Q...how come there are so many darn letters in the alphabet anyway?"

'How do you stop a fish from smelling?'

'I don't like to brag, but I'm the guy who coined the phrase, 'Honey, I'm Home'.'

'Let's cut right through to the heart of the matter.'

"You scratch my back, I'll scratch your is just a figure of speech, Ned. A little left, and higher."

"My mom is a vegetarian, so she doesn't bring home the bacon. She brings home kale and quinoa."

Reading: Phonics. Using phonics, you learn to read by the sounds of letters. Any questions? Yes. Why does "phonics" begin with "p-h" and not with "f"?

Famous Oxymorons...

'Please Miss, is it where Noah kept his bees?'

"Oh boy, by the way this guy is moving, we can assume he's got some of our friends in his pants..."

Museum of Natural Cliches

"'Parent' should always be an action verb."

'It says here you can talk trash in five languages.'

'A xebec and fluyt passed a heptad of shilpit grugrus.'

Irritable Vowel Syndrome

A Semicolon.