
'He was about this tall, horns, cloven hooves, and a ring in his nose, but whether or not he was a BULL, I don't want to speculate.'
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'He was about this tall, horns, cloven hooves, and a ring in his nose, but whether or not he was a BULL, I don't want to speculate.'
Uh-oh, we're about to be swept away by a wave, and not in the metaphorical sense!
"Thanks for walking a mile in my shoe but it's beginning to hurt now."
"No, I really thought each sentence ended with an emoji!"
"That was totally....what's the word I'm looking for?"
'Nurse, why is there always a fly in my ointment?'
Ninedency: A budding tendency
"I'm still pre-literate."
"It's great to see Biff; Socksie the cat is out of the bag..."
"It's an honest mistake I'm sure we'll never hear of again."
"Today I came across antiderenuclearizationalityness."
"I believe it was called 'cursive'."
"I won't be in today, I'm feeling a little under the coffee table."
The Elephant in the Womb
'... Going once...going twice...aaaand--sold! To the gentleman in the front row for a thousand words.'
"I propose the next person who says 'it is what it is,' we beat the living hell out of him."
'How do you stop a fish from smelling?'
Coffee. The phrase "where everybody knows your name" used to sound warm and friendly. Now, with all our personal information exposed online, it sounds scary!
'You always talk about robbing Peter to pay Paul, but you never mention Mary.'
"...L...uh, M...uh Q...how come there are so many darn letters in the alphabet anyway?"
'Let's cut right through to the heart of the matter.'
"You scratch my back, I'll scratch your is just a figure of speech, Ned. A little left, and higher."
"My mom is a vegetarian, so she doesn't bring home the bacon. She brings home kale and quinoa."
Famous Oxymorons...
"Oh boy, by the way this guy is moving, we can assume he's got some of our friends in his pants..."
'Please Miss, is it where Noah kept his bees?'
"I owe all my success to the psychiatrist who gave me the word GREED as my mantra!"
Museum of Natural Cliches
Irritable Vowel Syndrome
"If you want my opinion you're damned if you do and damned if you don't."
"I don't like the tone of your voice. Mind if I tweak it a bit?"
Street painter puts real face on man with happy face.
I ONIC. F. E. That group will be very different depending upon whether a "C" or "R" joins them in that second spot.
He wouldn't be calling the kettle that again.
Devil in the detail
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