Linguistic Explorer Gifts

Why we need poetry. . .

"This is Daddy, honey. That was Daddy's office voice."

'Apparently, the locals have over 40 different words for snow!'

"It's just force of habit. When I say 'cavemen' I of course mean 'cavepersons'."

Dog/Cat dictionary.

A Semicolon.

'What does unaware mean?'

Talk turkey in three months.

'Next time YOU pronounce it!'

'the selling of seashells by the seashore was sluggish.'

"I know it's a foreign book...but I'm reading it with a local accent."

'And is this young lady your fiasco, Mr. Jones?'

"You better get this through your thick shell. We are the best idiom for insanity!"

"'Parent' should always be an action verb."

"Now that we've invented language, we'll have to be careful about gaffes."

"What does 'inexplicable' mean..?"

"I'm sorry...but to save money, we've had to curtail our accounts payable!"

Apostrophe. . . Apostropher

'This is Pete Henderson, the person behind the expression 'For Pete's sake''

Closing Laugh: A -Z Dictionary

"All the letters in the alphabet are one-syllable words. Tell that to "W"."

"Why do you continue to make that ridiculous noise, when you know we have an adequate grasp of the English language. . .?"

'I don't like to brag, but I'm the guy who coined the phrase, 'Honey, I'm Home'.'

'Hey!! Everything on the menu is in Chinese.' 'We are at a Chinese restaurant

'It says here you can talk trash in five languages.'

'The foozler used a teraohm to relume his stogey.'

'The hodaddy and the rotche were content under a gomuti.'

'The ocker dared to call her bortz a jargoon.'

'Do you not have a dictionary?'

'She muzzily chose between the guimpe and the dirndl.'

'It says white man got a tattoo, in chinese.'

'Mom! - Jeffrey just said a DADDY word!!'

''Pop'? In my part of the country they're called a 'Soda-Tart'.'

'Returning from the klong he bruited the anableps.'

Computer Speak: 'Beware!...There is no such thing as a 'free launch'.'