Linguistics Explorers Gifts

Yep, that's me in a pea pod! In a pea pod�?? I think "nutshell" has been vastly overused.

Campaign for Plain English

"Would you relax? All you guys are so tense. I just wanted to tell you to your face how enigmatic I find you."

Why we need poetry. . .

'I made a good grade in creative writing, but I didn't do very well in creative spelling.'

'the selling of seashells by the seashore was sluggish.'

'Do you always have to shout? Well? Do you? Huh?'

'Diver caught scallops - is that a description of what happened or a compound adjective'

'Instead of cubicles, we call them interconnected productivity centres.'

'I don't like to brag, but I'm the guy who coined the phrase, 'Honey, I'm Home'.'

Irritable Vowel Syndrome: "EEEIIIOOOAAA AUUUEEE!!"

"We're to stop talking about 'budget cuts'. Apparently it's depressing for staff and clients..."

Wordplay: Nonstarter.

The Oxford Comma Coin

"These meetings were a lot shorter before we invented compound sentences."

Reading: Phonics. Using phonics, you learn to read by the sounds of letters. Any questions? Yes. Why does "phonics" begin with "p-h" and not with "f"?

'It says here you can talk trash in five languages.'

The Nanuit Have 2,027 Words For Snow, But, After Awhile, They Just Talk About Something Else...

"'Parent' should always be an action verb."

'Well? - Now that we've learned to talk, aren't you going to admit that you were wrong?'

Sign on Roget's Thesaurus, Inc.: 'Absent Ingesting Comestibles'

A Semicolon.

'Yes, I speak perfect English, I have to 'cause you English are too bloody lazy to learn French!'

"No, those people aren't anorexic. Those people are starving."

"I think our daughter should change her major. She can now ask for money in 3 different languages!"

"He's a fine talker, but can you understand Portuguese?"

Apostrophe. . . Apostropher

'I can't talk to my wife - all she says is `Baaah! Baaah!`!

"For today's lesson, you're going to teach me about pronouns."

Barbed Pen

A 'DIVERSION' sign points to a crazy guy.

"We’re leveraging knowledge of niche opportunities to maximize strategic advantages."

'I don't like this part. 'Please find enclosed the inclusion of my enclosure'.'

Business School - Center for the Study of Mumbo Jumbo - 3rd Floor.

"Mom, Dad, sis-I'm not like you. I'm-I'm not a palindrome."