Linguistics Explorer Gifts

"My pronouns are ugh/argh."

Masculine Dress - For Women

Campaign for Plain English

"Would you relax? All you guys are so tense. I just wanted to tell you to your face how enigmatic I find you."

Why we need poetry. . .

"No, I really thought each sentence ended with an emoji!"

Ninedency: A budding tendency

'I made a good grade in creative writing, but I didn't do very well in creative spelling.'

'the selling of seashells by the seashore was sluggish.'

"I believe it was called 'cursive'."

'Do you always have to shout? Well? Do you? Huh?'

'Diver caught scallops - is that a description of what happened or a compound adjective'

Irritable Vowel Syndrome: "EEEIIIOOOAAA AUUUEEE!!"

The Oxford Comma Coin

'How do you stop a fish from smelling?'

'I don't like to brag, but I'm the guy who coined the phrase, 'Honey, I'm Home'.'

"These meetings were a lot shorter before we invented compound sentences."

"So I'm like, doesn't anyone speak proper English any more?"

The Nanuit Have 2,027 Words For Snow, But, After Awhile, They Just Talk About Something Else...

'It says here you can talk trash in five languages.'

'Please Miss, is it where Noah kept his bees?'

Famous Oxymorons...

"'Parent' should always be an action verb."

'Well? - Now that we've learned to talk, aren't you going to admit that you were wrong?'

A Semicolon.

Sign on Roget's Thesaurus, Inc.: 'Absent Ingesting Comestibles'

'Yes, I speak perfect English, I have to 'cause you English are too bloody lazy to learn French!'

"I think our daughter should change her major. She can now ask for money in 3 different languages!"

"No, those people aren't anorexic. Those people are starving."

Apostrophe. . . Apostropher

"We’re leveraging knowledge of niche opportunities to maximize strategic advantages."

Barbed Pen

'Mummy, what's a daddy one of those called?'

"I can't believe this! All these filthy messages on your cell phone! And so many of them! What is it? 100? 500? 1,000?"