Lexical Enthusiast Gifts

Publication Day for Johnson's Dictionary

Man packing suitcase with French vocabulary

"We've decided that it will be better for his later development if we speak to him only in legalese."

'I've been called some mean things as a baby boomer, but 'Pig in the Python' really hurts.'

"Oh, look- French! Let's try it."

'The definition of OBSOLETE: old fashioned dictionaries.'

'Amscray,fuzzbrain - no carnivores allowed

"Sorry I'm late. I overslept." "Is that even a real word?"

Lessons in Prehistory.

'Whoooa,MAN,check out this STORM! It's PELTING down!'

"I know! I know! I K-n-o-w!. . . Um, what was the question?"

'Stick them up...'

Henry the amazing talking dog.

"You can use the alphabet to text. You can use the alphabet to tweet. Why can't you use the alphabet to spell?"

"Dad, can we have a bedtime narrative?"

Harv's general clumsiness with prepositions comes back to haunt him.

'This is the fun part...waiting to find out just what we've ordered.

'I hope you ain't got no tax up here!'

"Today I came across antiderenuclearizationalityness."

'I made a hundred on the Spanish test. Gracias.'

In an unprecedented occurrence, Noah Webster fails his vocabulary test.

Ironing Punctuation

"I found out why we study vocabulary. Last night, my mother told me to ruminate, and I spent three hours in my room."

"Wa-wa. . . wa-wa. . . wa-wa. . ."

'Alphabet soup? What's alphabet?'

Two vending machines for fisherman: 'Live Bait' next to 'Dead as a Doornail Bait'

Say it with flowers - available in any language.

His Hers Pers Vis Xyrs Hirs TBD

THE REPORT: Some of this is brilliant, but that can be fixed.

'Do it write the first time.'

'In today's market hyperbole was up sharply. Similes and metaphors held relatively steady with euphemisms hitting another record low.'