Letter Outlaw Gifts

"And just where did that extra vowel come from?"

Glue gun? Glitter? Dang it, I grabbed my crafting belt again.

"It's nice to feel wanted though, isn't it?"

Artists of the wild west.

"Are you the one they call El Cóndor?"

Motorcycles tied to hitching post outside a western saloon

'I was fixin' to fill you full o' lead, Clanton, but it looks like that there stalactite done the job for me!'

Ray Price, Willie Nelson, Merle Haggard

"I'm thinking of changing my name."

'Yeah, I'm a trife scorpio - what of it?'

"Crumple this into a little ball, will you?"

"There ain't enough room in this here town for two arthritics, stranger..."

"No, no, I think it's 'two-gun' Pete you're after!"

Silent music

"His teacher says he'll be as famous as Dick Turpin one day."

"Nope, Jeb's my pardner. My partner is Zeke."

'So you've decided to drop the whole 'man with no name' image, have you?' 'Tarquin Chadwick, Gunslinger'

"This chat room ain't big enough fer th' two of us."

The unorganised organiser.

"Better watch it, Sheriff. It's said this guy's dang near impossible to shoot and no jail can hold 'im."

"This will maintain your rebellious image in states with helmet laws."

'Professional downloader of Napster files' looking for work

'Jake, honey, if you need some cash, my purse is in the kitchen. You already robbed a bank today.'

Joe's Weight Gain: '...none of my good pants fit right now...but since we'll be sitting the whole time, I figures it wouldn't really matter...'

'Tell me the truth...does this dead body make me look fat?'

'What the hell d'ya mean 'shoot straight'?! Whaddya think I'm doing?!!'

'...You've got no game.'

"What's the point of being your sidekick if the courts won't recognize it?"

"Dang it, Seth! Are you still feeding those birds?"

"Face it, Earl. We're dogfoodboys."

"The tone of the letter is stern, almost threatening, but - see here? - he signs with a smiley face, so I think we may be alright."

"Every day I ask myself, 'Am I embezzling enough for retirement?' "

"Ned's got a fly in his helmet again."

'This book changed my life. I stole it.'

'Have your posse hunt down my posse and we'll all do lunch.'