Fashion Outlaw Gifts

Joe's Weight Gain: '...none of my good pants fit right now...but since we'll be sitting the whole time, I figures it wouldn't really matter...'

If you bathe a skunk in tomato juice, it will smell like a dog. A bird in the hand is better than two in your shorts. Never wear aqua after Thanksgiving. Unconventional wisdom.

Glue gun? Glitter? Dang it, I grabbed my crafting belt again.

Woman's Support Group: No Bra, No Griddle, No Service.

"I just hope the world doesn't end before people can see our outfits."

"I feel like bad guys aren't as scared of me in the summer."

'What are the other nonconformists wearing this year?'

"By 'dress down day', most of us mean not wearing a jacket!"

"He'll never grow out of it. It's made of rubber."

Rock and Roll

"Aren't we going a little overboard with Friday's casual dress code!?"

'More hair than brains.'

"How's it look back there?"

Motorcycles tied to hitching post outside a western saloon

Man burning his tie.

Punkins

"Are you the one they call El Cóndor?"

Speedo Limit: 21 Years

'I was fixin' to fill you full o' lead, Clanton, but it looks like that there stalactite done the job for me!'

"It makes a statement, but it begs a question."

'Good luck with the presentation dear and I still think it would be better without the hat!'

How Fashion Works - 'You obviously haven't heard - the adults are wearing them narrow now,'

Fred's Tie: A Momentary Lapse of Judgement or A Cry For Help?

"Fashion Week"

'Fashion Police Incident Area'

"I'm outside the fancy dress shop...."

'Does my bum look big in this?'

'Casual Friday's never caught on in this department.'

"Of course I care about the environment, I never throw any clothes away."

Vacancies in Customer Care - Up Yours

'Does anyone have a question?'

"...and if we need someone with an earrings, I'll be in touch."

Personnel Manager to applicant: 'Your resume and references are excellent, but your hair is too silly.'

"Nice. Got this in camo?"

"No this is timeless classic menswear appreciation. Hipster beatnik is Tuesday nights."