Fashion-conscious Felon Gifts

Wear something slimming to the robbery - the security camera adds 10 pounds.

Two women wearing identical dresses head toward exchange window at department store.

"1-1"

"I feel like bad guys aren't as scared of me in the summer."

LOL. Larry Lee Oppenheimer is no fan of monogrammed underwear.

'I think there's been some mistake...'

"How's it look back there?"

Fred's Tie: A Momentary Lapse of Judgement or A Cry For Help?

The Bland Leading the Bland

'...but since no fossils of dinosaur clothing have yet been found, what you see here is mostly speculation.'

"Mmm..I haven't worn this tie since the firms 1997 dinner and dance..."

'I love wearing my little black number.'

"Harvey's staying with shoulders."

'See, I told you this electric fence would come in handy.'

"It's an important interview, so you probably shouldn't wear a necktie that contains more material than your suit."

"You have it backwards. When you're having an online meeting, you're supposed to look good from the waist up."

"You might consider new socks as well."

Ass-less Chaps

The wife made it. Why?

An man with an axe removes tattoos.

No Pants No Service?

'It's the sixties, they want their shirt back!'

'Bob, you're suffering from embarrassing static cling.'

"It's not a cummerbund. It's my underpants."

Saville Row surprise

Hooked on fried sardines, Irene's cat leads them on a life of crime.

Joe's Weight Gain: 'Dang it! My pants must've shrunk in the dryer. . . Ok. . . who's responsible for shrinking all of my slacks?!!'

'I would've dressed better, but my tie was dirty.'

"What do you recommend for yellow teeth?"

"Sorry, sir, but we have a strict dress code."

'What do you mean, I don't match? Everything I'm wearing is wrinkled.'

"I know, but my mom knitted it for me."

"Whoa, Fred!! Where'd you get that ridiculous shirt??!"

Embarrassed man finds a skimpy dress in his suitcase.

"I'm ditching my tailor. He just can't grasp the concept of a double breasted suit."