Lesson Planners Gifts

'You must be the new hire. Welcome aboard. Here's our prepackaged curriculum. If time permits, encourage critical thinking.'

A Puppet Named Juan

'As a beginning teacher, you know you come here prepared to teach and become a good teacher. As you gain experience, you will learn that you also come here to care and become a great teacher.'

Coach to football players: 'And no cuddling!'

Presentation: Thinking each other are idiots.

'The reason the core curriculum seems so ambiguous is that we dot really have a core curriculum.'

Little Girl Educating Her Horse.

Spring To Do List: Teach, Testing, Testing,Test Some More. . .

'You can't blame the kids for being restless when we have math teachers teaching French, and English teachers teaching science.'

'This is going really well. I did a great job organizing this lecture.'

"Tell me again how many young minds I will have shaped by the end of my teaching career."

Australian baby with toys hanging from his hat rather than corks

"Thank you for 30 years of teaching service. Now you have 5 minutes to turn in your keys, I.D. card, empty your desk and be escorted out."

Babies

"This grade doesn't fit into my five-year plan!"

"We could have a shoot-out, then brunch."

'Medieval Studies is going nowhere without a 5-year strategic plan.'

"While your lesson plans were perfect, and your bulletin boards were terrific...your classroom management skills need work!"

A Family Out For A Walk In The Country.

A spider meal prepping

'... I'll take the handoff to the tailback, then give the ball to my stunt double here, and he will dive head-first into the end zone.'

'Your student Clara has tested as Talented and Gifted. But only in metal sculpting. You'll need to start incorporating metal sculpting into your daily lesson plans starting...tomorrow.'

'A hidden cost of implementing common core standards in education...'

"So how was your first day of teaching?"

Clock in, Clock out.

"Just teachers' lounge will suffice, Ed."

'What the . . . no wonder we can't gain any yards. We've been fitted with radio collars...'

'You might not know it now but I used to have some great lesson plans.'

'Get the stretcher! He's got a mole on his leg that looks a little funky!!'

Teacher's Workroom.

'Be sure to properly mark your calendars, fellow dentists...'

Error! Lesson Plan has no Aim!

"Isn't it great? I found little 'Classroom Mode' switches behind their ears."

'To err is human. To really screw up requires a plan.'