Lesson Plan Enthusiast Gifts

"Tell me again how many young minds I will have shaped by the end of my teaching career."

We must stand up..against incompetence

A Puppet Named Juan

'As a beginning teacher, you know you come here prepared to teach and become a good teacher. As you gain experience, you will learn that you also come here to care and become a great teacher.'

'Your classroom management techniques work in practice but not in theory. That worries me.'

Super Student

Hanging off every word...

'The reason the core curriculum seems so ambiguous is that we dot really have a core curriculum.'

Little Girl Educating Her Horse.

'I can't get out! -- I lost the owner's manual!'

"A man never stands so tall, son, as when he stoops to pick up a quarter."

'I'm sorry Timmy, but if I keep going for help, you'll never learn to take care of yourself,'

'I'm partially passing my Meteorology course.'

'You can't blame the kids for being restless when we have math teachers teaching French, and English teachers teaching science.'

'Dad taught me how to tie my shoes, and I taught him how to program the computer.'

"Why don't you try learning from your own mistakes?"

'Knowledge is the ultimate weapon. Next!'

'This is going really well. I did a great job organizing this lecture.'

Manual Worker

"Thank you for 30 years of teaching service. Now you have 5 minutes to turn in your keys, I.D. card, empty your desk and be escorted out."

"While your lesson plans were perfect, and your bulletin boards were terrific...your classroom management skills need work!"

"I didn't learn anything in school today but I'll learn twice as much tomorrow."

'You must be the new hire. Welcome aboard. Here's our prepackaged curriculum. If time permits, encourage critical thinking.'

Be prepared - Don't jump to confusion.

'Timmy's very bright for his age. He knows nearly all his ABC's!'

'Your student Clara has tested as Talented and Gifted. But only in metal sculpting. You'll need to start incorporating metal sculpting into your daily lesson plans starting...tomorrow.'

'Remember, Junior, if at first you don't succeed...come up with a good exit strategy.'

"So how was your first day of teaching?"

"Just teachers' lounge will suffice, Ed."

Smart people learn from experience - other peoples'.

'You might not know it now but I used to have some great lesson plans.'

"So you can do your homework. That's why you have to learn to read and write."

"What is the battle cry for homeschoolers?" Kids: "Go Home!"

"Don't think of it as being grounded. Think of it as suffering the consequences of your monumental stupidity."

Teacher's Workroom.