Lesson Planner Extraordinaire Gifts

"While your lesson plans were perfect, and your bulletin boards were terrific...your classroom management skills need work!"

'Some days, I think they can understand every word I say.'

'I think I use the Internet too much. I find myself writing 'com' after each period.'

A Puppet Named Juan

Coach to football players: 'And no cuddling!'

"First aid box, puncture repair kit, mobile phone, energy bars and plenty of liquids; I think that's all eventualities covered..."

"I'm busy this afternoon, but I can crayon you in for Saturday."

'The reason the core curriculum seems so ambiguous is that we dot really have a core curriculum.'

Where do you see yourself five years from today, dork-boy? 43 Breen Road. What are you talking about? It's where everyone wants to go. It's the most popular AirBnB in San Francisco. The earliest opening they had was five years from today. Just book a hotel. Hotels are so 2007.

"Compare Calculate Contrast Before you make a move"

"Do I have many meetings today?"

Little Girl Educating Her Horse.

Spring To Do List: Teach, Testing, Testing,Test Some More. . .

"I'll be there in three 'All Too Well's."

'You can't blame the kids for being restless when we have math teachers teaching French, and English teachers teaching science.'

'This is going really well. I did a great job organizing this lecture.'

"Tell me again how many young minds I will have shaped by the end of my teaching career."

Praying for a goal assist.

"Thank you for 30 years of teaching service. Now you have 5 minutes to turn in your keys, I.D. card, empty your desk and be escorted out."

"This grade doesn't fit into my five-year plan!"

"So did you folks have a nice vacation?"

'... I'll take the handoff to the tailback, then give the ball to my stunt double here, and he will dive head-first into the end zone.'

'Make me a bunch of appointments that I won't be able to keep.'

'Forget economy! Put us down for every frill you got!'

'You must be the new hire. Welcome aboard. Here's our prepackaged curriculum. If time permits, encourage critical thinking.'

'Your student Clara has tested as Talented and Gifted. But only in metal sculpting. You'll need to start incorporating metal sculpting into your daily lesson plans starting...tomorrow.'

'A hidden cost of implementing common core standards in education...'

"So how was your first day of teaching?"

"Just teachers' lounge will suffice, Ed."

'You might not know it now but I used to have some great lesson plans.'

'What the . . . no wonder we can't gain any yards. We've been fitted with radio collars...'

"Dave's a man of rare gifts... He buys me one, about every ten years."

Teacher's Workroom.

'Get the stretcher! He's got a mole on his leg that looks a little funky!!'

'You got sticky notes.'