Lesson Planner Extraordinaire T-Shirts

"While your lesson plans were perfect, and your bulletin boards were terrific...your classroom management skills need work!"

'Some days, I think they can understand every word I say.'

'I think I use the Internet too much. I find myself writing 'com' after each period.'

A Puppet Named Juan

Coach to football players: 'And no cuddling!'

"I'm busy this afternoon, but I can crayon you in for Saturday."

'The reason the core curriculum seems so ambiguous is that we dot really have a core curriculum.'

"Do I have many meetings today?"

"Compare Calculate Contrast Before you make a move"

Little Girl Educating Her Horse.

Spring To Do List: Teach, Testing, Testing,Test Some More. . .

"I'll be there in three 'All Too Well's."

'You can't blame the kids for being restless when we have math teachers teaching French, and English teachers teaching science.'

'This is going really well. I did a great job organizing this lecture.'

"Tell me again how many young minds I will have shaped by the end of my teaching career."

"This grade doesn't fit into my five-year plan!"

"Thank you for 30 years of teaching service. Now you have 5 minutes to turn in your keys, I.D. card, empty your desk and be escorted out."

"So did you folks have a nice vacation?"

'Make me a bunch of appointments that I won't be able to keep.'

'Forget economy! Put us down for every frill you got!'

'... I'll take the handoff to the tailback, then give the ball to my stunt double here, and he will dive head-first into the end zone.'

'You must be the new hire. Welcome aboard. Here's our prepackaged curriculum. If time permits, encourage critical thinking.'

'Your student Clara has tested as Talented and Gifted. But only in metal sculpting. You'll need to start incorporating metal sculpting into your daily lesson plans starting...tomorrow.'

'A hidden cost of implementing common core standards in education...'

"So how was your first day of teaching?"

"Just teachers' lounge will suffice, Ed."

'What the . . . no wonder we can't gain any yards. We've been fitted with radio collars...'

'You might not know it now but I used to have some great lesson plans.'

Teacher's Workroom.

'You got sticky notes.'

"Dave's a man of rare gifts... He buys me one, about every ten years."

'Get the stretcher! He's got a mole on his leg that looks a little funky!!'

'I'm afraid we had to cancel the 'perfect planning' seminar. By the time we got around to booking the hotel was full and speaker we hoped to use died in 1967...'

'Let's get some sheep, and don't worry if the shepherd has fire: I'll take care of it...'

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