Lesson Enthusiasts Gifts

"What is the battle cry for homeschoolers?" Kids: "Go Home!"

"There's something weird about Emily. She actually likes school!"

"...and before you embark upon life's journey, could one of you help me with my laptop?"

'I started out as a teacher's pet, and then it kind of snowballed.'

U of Debt

'Your classroom management techniques work in practice but not in theory. That worries me.'

Keeping all the balls in the air - skills

Hanging off every word...

Super Student

'I told you hard work would pay off in the third grade, Cate...You've had three job offers.'

"Get up at 7; leave for school by 8; no video games until after homework is done -- how about some regulatory relief?"

'Thank you for the apple Conrad. But in answer to your question, no, you may not address me as 'Boopsie'.'

"The state of graduates literacy levels is shoking and both my colleegs agrree that there maths isn't much better."

'Oooh, Jimmy, the teacher put another throwing star on your paper! Great!'

"I just feel like I'm constantly disappointing parents everytime I appear on report cards."

"A man never stands so tall, son, as when he stoops to pick up a quarter."

'Ooops! My mistake. That was the yearly budget estimate, no the monthly estimate.'

'I'm sorry Timmy, but if I keep going for help, you'll never learn to take care of yourself,'

'I'm partially passing my Meteorology course.'

The 5 paragraph essay is sooo stupid. Why do we have to learn it? So you can get good SAT scores. That will get you into a good college, and then a good job. So you never have to write another 5-paragraph essay again.

'Dad taught me how to tie my shoes, and I taught him how to program the computer.'

'If you are not careful, son, you will be mathematically eliminated from all of the Ivy League schools.'

"Why don't you try learning from your own mistakes?"

'Knowledge is the ultimate weapon. Next!'

"Improve your geography results, Perkins or you're history!"

"Tell me again how many young minds I will have shaped by the end of my teaching career."

"The extent of your extracurricular activities in high school, may very well be participation in regular program of oral hygiene using an effective decay preventaative tooth paste, but that won't get you into a good university."

"Pavlov's Blog."

Mentioning 'Sex'

'I was going to teach them the meaning of life ... but it wasn't on the test.'

"You're moving into a place where all the parents live well and all the kids test well."

Global Education

Private School Interview - 'How much do your parents weigh?'

'Welcome graduates, parents, guests, faculty, and home equity loan officers.'

"OK, who can tell me why it's important to know stuff."