Lentil Lover Gifts

"Hungry? I'm ravenous, Norman, I could murder a lentil cutlet."

'No doubt about it Captain. See these markings? This arrow belongs to Robin Hood!'

'It's a note...It says I.O.U. one pot of gold.'

Bigfoot and the Loch Ness Monster have some fun with the tourists...

Lady of the bath...

Where Indian ink came from.

Here be dragons.

"I don't care what you thought you saw,l there are no such things as people"

Margarita

'Good work pulling the sword from the stone. Now, how 'bout loosening the lid on the magic pickle jar?'

"Oh, this? Crazy story..."

'Yes, it computed the answer in a bilionth of a second and printed it instantly, but until I find my glasses...'

"I miss the Augean stables."

Myths and legends...

"You have to declare what you rob from the rich, but you can deduct what you give to the poor."

A Knight Arrives at a Boiling Lake Filled with Monsters (Don Quixote).

'Och lye the news'

"Twenty five years... I think it's time we renew our towels."

Woman has 3 towels in her restroom: 'Mine', 'Mine' and 'Mine'.

"The after-dinner mint is the boss's idea. I think it's superfluous."

Zorro as a child.

Sir Lancelot finds the Holy Quail

'I'm sorry, Madam Zola. I'm afraid you no longer have second sight.'

"The lettuce I paid with was fresher than the lettuce I bought."

'You pulled a sword out of a stone and they made you King? -- is that constitutional?'

Vegetarian Birthdays.

A boy with a camera

Bigfoot tracks...

Odysseus starts regretting his return to Ithaca.

Scotsman in the bath...

'This it is, Ferguson! Finally, we found the legendary, mysterious snowmen crematory!'

'She loves me, she loves me not, she loves me...'

'Well, the rent is a bit more expensive than usual because there are only 1 327 482 other tenants...'

"We received another message from that scoundrel Robin Hood, sire!"

We regret to inform you that your poem, "The Ramen," does not meet our publishing needs at this time. The short, frustrating career of Edgar Allan Typoe.