Tulip Lover Gifts

"We're sending you to a specialist in Holland. The Dutch, as you know, are experts on tulips."

Cut out and keep your own Christmas Caterer.

'Wow, these lights stay on the red cycle for a very long time.'

Showing off the good china 3-7 pm.

'We have Vanilla, Chocolate and Strawberry on your choice of Cedar, Oak or Elm cone...'

"I've seen a tulip before."

Psychic to Leylandii tree - 'You will reach great heights.'

"All good Lucy, I've cleared the beach: you can safely go and lay your eggs now..."

'Remember, we're planting a tree, not burying a bone.'

First love.

The great bit pie chart of holiday season dining.

'Yeah, you have lips like Mick Jagger ... ok, back to the teleconference.'

Tiptoe through the tulips with me!

"I guess it must be that new growth hormone the farmer gave me!"

"If a fruit doesn't have a lolly flavour, is it a real fruit?"

"Hungry? I'm ravenous, Norman, I could murder a lentil cutlet."

"I've been really craving Italian food for months now. Can you grab me two kilos of rigatoni, three kilos of fettuccini, and a bigger shell? The one I have is feeling a bit too tight lately."

'Can you pass me the saw-dust when you're finished with it Darling?'

"I'm not kidding: I am feline too and I do love swimming!"

"Talk about close calls! Harry, tell them about last Thanksgiving!"

Mathematics lesson - Equilateral triangle, isoceles triangle, obtuse triangle, and bermuda triangle.

Ozone layer claims another victim.

"You had too many characters in your last tweet."

"My mum's favourite recipes are: birch with mayonnaise, oak with tomato sauce, hazel with Dijon mustard, beech with salt and pepper and pine with soy sauce..."

"A man threatens to destroy town with army of turtles after dispute with city hall. Local authorities initiate a shell-ter in place in preparation for the noc-turtle invasion."

Camouflage Unit

'Bradley is a strict vegetarian. Do you have broccoli flavored lipstick?'

"So....are we, like, dating now? Or what?"

"It isn't fair! Why aren't thin lips fashionable?"

'My dentist wants you to stop giving me lollipops!'

'Look Mummy: I've put on my shell all by myself...'