Lens Maestro Gifts

Kirsten Johnson

'Sure I'm late. . . I not only have to get ready for school. . . now I have to get ready in case some idiot takes my picture for YouTube.'

"I guess someone got up on the wrong side of the podium today."

'Unaccustomed as I am to public speaking...'

"I now what you've come to expect from me is physical comedy, but tonight I thought we'd try something a little different."

"Welcome back to the We Were Bored and Had Nothing Else To Do podcast."

Computer Music

Sir Patrick Moore.

Hip-hop cops on stage.

The Four Tops in Concert

Comedy, Tragedy, Karaoke

'Oh, I dunno. hat would you like to evolve into?'

"I think she marked yours in blue pen because she used up all her red on mine."

"I seem to have forgotten what I was going to say...please...hold the applause!"

"Afterward, there will be a short Q. and A. that will be just long enough for one person to take up too much of it."

"Bacteria are fascinating. They multiply by dividing."

'If you increase the magnification another million times you can see the safety regulations.'

"Kind of makes your feel large and significant, doesn't it?"

"O.K., but what I'm about to tell you does not leave this news cycle."

Due to obsessive and intrusive attention by the Media, this news conference will be cancelled

'Useful Drywall Screws' next to a huge box of 'Useless Drywall Screws.'

The Poet.

"Our love is magical. In other words, a grand illusion."

Skeleton model kit assembly instructions.

Recording Studio

"Some 'King'. They didn't even give me an N95."

'I will now play a selection of digital audio files I downloaded today.'

Director's Day Off

Tom Waits.

'I see ol' bug-eyes is back.'

'I'm testing whether the little blue pill. Will speed up the reproduction process of these organisms.'

Workers rest

Annoucement

Setbacks in the development of the rubber mallet.

Samantha Fish