Lens Maestro T-Shirts

Kirsten Johnson

"I guess someone got up on the wrong side of the podium today."

'Unaccustomed as I am to public speaking...'

"I now what you've come to expect from me is physical comedy, but tonight I thought we'd try something a little different."

"Welcome back to the We Were Bored and Had Nothing Else To Do podcast."

Computer Music

Comedy, Tragedy, Karaoke

The Four Tops in Concert

Hip-hop cops on stage.

'Oh, I dunno. hat would you like to evolve into?'

"I think she marked yours in blue pen because she used up all her red on mine."

"Afterward, there will be a short Q. and A. that will be just long enough for one person to take up too much of it."

"I seem to have forgotten what I was going to say...please...hold the applause!"

"Bacteria are fascinating. They multiply by dividing."

'If you increase the magnification another million times you can see the safety regulations.'

"Kind of makes your feel large and significant, doesn't it?"

"O.K., but what I'm about to tell you does not leave this news cycle."

'Useful Drywall Screws' next to a huge box of 'Useless Drywall Screws.'

Due to obsessive and intrusive attention by the Media, this news conference will be cancelled

The Poet.

"Our love is magical. In other words, a grand illusion."

Skeleton model kit assembly instructions.

"Some 'King'. They didn't even give me an N95."

Recording Studio

'I will now play a selection of digital audio files I downloaded today.'

Director's Day Off

Workers rest

Tom Waits.

Setbacks in the development of the rubber mallet.

'I'm testing whether the little blue pill. Will speed up the reproduction process of these organisms.'

Annoucement

Samantha Fish

'I know Pasteur didn't work under these conditions, but Pasteur didn't have fifty companies trying to steal his trade secrets.'