Leisure Traveler Gifts

The Oaks: Breakfast And Back To Bed.

'I'll make my final decision on that promotion of yours, after this game.'

Golfing Boss

"The GPS works great, we have satellite TV installed, the Sirius stereo sounds fantastic and our every move is tracked by Qualcomm. But could you turn around? I left me iphone at the house. . ."

"First class, or with children?"

A treasure map shows you all the roads without tolls.

'I want to visit the very EDGE of civilisation, to explore the BRUTAL shores of natures most REMOTE regions. If you could manage that with a five star hotel and first class travel it would be perfect.'

"Well, how do things look from where you sit?"

'I play so hard that I have no time to work hard.'

"It's days like this that make me long for days like this."

Oscar would laugh whenever he recalled his empty existence before golf.

"Oh indeed I did: I went feral for a year when I was young. It taught me a lot about the world, but about myself too..."

I rather like bucket and spade holidays.

"I can't wait for vacation - I'm going to go sun myself in a south-facing window."

I took a vacation to forget everything and I forgot my luggage.

'Now here's a place I like!'

"Yes, six to seven weeks is my life expectancy! Once I learned that, I thought, the hell with it, I'll stop working and start travelling..."

Stairlift around cliff face.

Wasting away again in Cappuccinoville.

"He took eight shots on the 19th hole!"

'You want a quick read? How about this one: 'Memoirs of an Amnesic'?'

"What's he doing? A nap in the middle of a work day? Oh, I like this..."

'I think we took a wrong turn between the seventh and eight holes.'

Vaccination Passport

Diver sees old lady in motorized bubble.

"Where do you expect to be ten years from now?"

Manners And Customs Of Ye Englishe: A Pic-Nic

"I'm thinking of starting my own range of 'inactive' wear."

'Fine. And you?'

"Well Earned Vacation"

Ultra-lazy sloth

I used to love coming here. Nudist beach.

Problem Solving

Gone Bookkeepin'

"We're going to see my family. There's an extra twenty in it for you if we never get there."