Legal Themes Gifts

'I wasn't expecting this when they said they wanted to settle out of court!!'

Fish Wins Millions in Harassment Suit.

'As your lawer, I'm telling you this for nothing, I can't believe I just said that!'

"I should've realised the relationship was dead what do you made me sign a 14 page waiver before he gave me a valentines card!"

'Call me immediately if there's any serious side effects so I can notify my lawyer.'

'Ignorance of the law is no excuse, especially when you're majoring in Law.'

'The toughest things you have to deal with in this job, is feelings and lawyers.'

'I appreciate how you feel, but I'm afraid your report card isn't grounds for defamation of character.

The New Fundamentals of Art: 'We'll begin with the most basic figure, the trademark attorney...'

'The sole reason I haven't talked to my wife for five years, is that I was too polite to interrupt her...'

"Bailiff."

'This prediction has a margin of error of plus or minus fifteen...fifteen class-action suits brought against the company.'

"We're slapping you with a stress suit, pal!"

Lawyer to bad hair lady: 'It's difficult to establish pain and suffering based on a bad hair day.'

"The doctor is in court on Tuesdays and Wednesdays."

"The jury didn't buy my defense that CEOs just want to have fun."

'Your honor, I'd like a short recess so my client can make a run for it.'

The Birth of a Lawsuit

"Another slander suit!"

'This could be me and you, your honor. Heading for Las Vegas!'

"They're class action figures."

'Do you Duane, paternity suit notwithstanding, take Diane...'

"I said freeze, punk, I didn't mean literally!"

"Before the defense rests, my client would like to read you a little sonnet he composed about his love for the jury."

"I advised a patient to take responsibilty for his own actions, and now he is suing me!"

"And finally, I implore the jury not to take my clients lack of alibi and blatant lies out of context."

"Does it hurt when my attorney does this?"

'Is that guy back again? Hey, if you find that sponge I lost, give a shout.'

'Furthermore, had a handrail been fitted to the wall , my client would not be sitting here now.'

'He started it!'

"Well, we can try. But to be honest, I doubt that you'll get custody of your husband's credit cards."

"He says: If they're smart enough to hire a top lawyer and sue us for having wet floors then they're smart enough to look where they're *%&$* going..."

'That's nothing...I've been told my wig takes fifteen years off me.'

Justice

"The law is an ass...employment law, however, is an asset."