Legal Systems Fan Gifts

'He hates it when lawyers quote the Constitution,'

'How do you plead, in twenty-five words or less?'

'I don't suppose there's any way I could serve my sentence on line?'

'If crime doesn't pay, how come there're so many criminal lawyers?'

"... and I would have gotten away with it if it weren’t for you meddling forensic pathologists."

"Apparently, you have very little respect for our judicial system, sauntering in here with only one lawyer."

'I was afraid cameras in the court would lead to this.'

"It was a crime of passion, not the defendant's offense, out verdict."

"I wouldn't want to be in your shoes."

"I'm afraid it's a bad case of libel!"

'It's a whole new twist - a straight-laced detective who does everything by the book.'

Dreary counsel sending the judge and jury to sleep

So...who is your provider ?

'I'm sorry, but the only person Mr. McCoy is looking to hire right now is a good criminal defense lawyer. But I'll be happy to pass you resume on to him.'

How to avoid law.

"The People rest, Your Honor."

Lady Justice eats birthday cake

'... the party of the first part is to give the party of the second part ...'

'Look your honor - we're all felons here, right?'

'Let's see you reverse this, Switherton!'

"Your lawyer is a zombie?"

"We truly regret that you were unjustly imprisoned for 63 years, and we're sure you'll enjoy your new-found freedom."

"I can't believe a mother was jailed because of her kid's truancy."

'We have special circumstances here Your Honor...Mr. Juttle committed the crime so he could get out of jury duty.'

"We were assigned 'Hanging Judge Carter', but don't worry, they no longer execute by hanging in this state."

"Looks like we have a full house tonight."

"He's showboating. Don't let it get to you."

'Counselor, you know that the jurors have the right to weigh the credibility of a witness.'

'All men are equal before the law... So how can a judge tell who's guilty and who's innocent?'

End of the Mueller probe?

Jury foreman decides using a coin flip.

Scare tactics.

'Just be patient -- we're drawing up the indictment now.'

I hear your fees are very reasonable...