Justice System Fan Gifts

Lady Justice eats birthday cake

'Just be patient -- we're drawing up the indictment now.'

End of the Mueller probe?

"Where do you see yourself in 20 to 25 years?"

Lady Justice and Confidential Files

"Gimme a 'D'! Gimme an 'N'! Gimme an 'A'!"

'Who says justice has to be the only thing on tap?'

"Not guilty?"

"This is my client's videotaped deposition—please be considerate and rewind after viewing."

Mou...Man trap!

"I must protest, M'Lud. Prosecurity counsel is blantantly attempting to wheedle the truth from the accused."

Lawyer's secretary has in boxes labeled: Before the Fact and After the Fact.

'Let's try it again. And this time, don't cross your fingers.'

Lady Justice wears a blindfold, but listens through headphones to a tape recorder on one of her scales.

"At least he's honest about it..."

The truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth.

'... And I appreciate that you've 'saved the world from certain doom on numerous occasions', but you still have to pay your taxes.'

"That settles it. I'm moving for a retrial."

"Can you recommend something for the attorney who got me everything?"

A Lawyer's Closing Arguments Wins the Support of the Jury

'Must you be so judgemental?'

"I sentence you 500 hours of community service - You can start by mopping this floor."

"You are hereby sentenced to one year of swimming with the people."

"Do you swear you haven't embroidered the truth in your testimony today?"

'It drives me crazy when people whine about the collapse of the system!'

"You're lucky you're a U.S. citizen and this is America! The government has generously offered you five free guesses about what you're charged with and where you're going to be secretly detained."

'Speak of the devil, there's my attorney now.'

Law 'N' Order

"One soft drink and eleven stiff drinks."

A throng runs out the courthouse to follow a car that is driving away decorated with a sign that reads "Just Acquitted".

'An injunction against the First Amendment? - Can we DO that?'

"We may be in trouble. . . the prosecutions expert witness can usually tell if a defendants been good or bad!"

"And today if the prosecutor says 'Liar, liar, pants on fire,' do not turn around to check."

"It's not really perjury if you're a compulsive liar."

"Well, perhaps 'guilty' is too strong a word."