Legal Saga Storyteller T-Shirts

'Someday we'll look back on this and think, ‘Why the hell didn't we sue?' '

"After I graduate middle school, high school and college, I'll go to law school to get you out of this. But I want my retainer now."

'When you get up on the stand be sure to keep your answers short. A whole lot of barking will only frighten the jury.'

'Do you expect the jury to believe that? And, more importantly, do you expect the viewers of the eventual TV movie of this trial to believe it?'

'I haven't spent a day in jail since I got rid of my lawyer and hired a spinmeister.'

Tell me a deposition, mommy.

"The last time I was in Europe was 4 boyfriends ago..."

'Way too much information on your resume.'

"Thank you for the rewind, Miss Cooper. Now let us fast-forward to that fateful moment in February and hit the pause button."

'For ever 'no-no' there's a legal 'yes-yes'.'

"Ladies and Gentlemen of the jury, my client blah blah...."

"She left everything to you. But, the hamster is contesting the will."

"Your Honor, the witness, in my opinion, has failed to establish credibility."

"In a surprising turn of events, the end testifies against the means."

"It's not good, Jack. She's after the house, the condo, custody, half your retirement $ 12,000 a month and she still wants a pound of flesh."

Robert Macaire as a Barrister

White House P.R. - Out To Smear the FBI & Mueller.

'I will not have the species card played in my courtroom, Counselor.'

"Objection, your honor! Prosecution is playing the blame game!"

"You can lie to the prosecutor but don't ever lie to your co-conspirators."

'Sir, we have a problem. The attorney section is totally overcrowded!' (demon to Satan)

Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde, Esq.

"It's not really perjury if you're a compulsive liar."

'How do you expect me to concentrate when you're reading me my rights?'

"It's the terrifying story of a publisher brutally murdered by an author who had his book rejected."

"What a great day to be alive and not under indictment."

A judge, the lawyers for the prosecution and defense, the accused and the jury stand in front of a packed courtroom and bow while holding hands like they are finishing a performance.

'I like the way you have Jack and Jill go up the hill with a lawyer.'

'It's a shame, he has MASSES of experience.'

"I'M your one call from County Lockup? Ohhhh Lenny."

"Loved ones scared to death by monsters? Call the law offices of Frank N. Stein..."

'The jury have instructed me to say that they expected a rather more spicy case.'

"You can scatter my remains at my ex-wife's apartment."