Legal Paradox Ponderers Gifts

'Contemplate this summons.'

"On a more positive note the guidance we’ve published on the services we can’t provide is published in 37 different languages."

Grad School Parent-Teacher Conference

The Artist

"Listen to this: 'Technology reduces the time we spend on a given task, but increases the number of tasks we're expected to do.' Sounds like a no-win situation to me!"

God not-too-happy with the Humans sticking a 'Closing DOWN Sale!' sign on planet Earth

Optimist

"Ok... for today I want a 500-word essay on what you know about nothing."

"This may surprise some of your viewers, but I didn't actually want to go into the box."

"I'm learning to live with existence."

Ten Commandments

WANTED Dead or Alive - Schrodinger's Cat.

"I have good news and bad news about your cat, Dr Schrodinger..."

Schrödinger and his cat

"What's important is that we learn from what we must never admit happened."

Another Time Travel Pair o' Ducks.

'As I recall you were the one who told him that he couldn't take it with him.'

Sharing the Bed with Zeno

"Oh my God, help! Is there a logician on board?!"

"Most people forget they've had amnesia."

"Pregnant!... How did that happen? We took precautions, like not having sex!"

"Some day you'll look back at this and remember me as the person who taught you to fear water."

'My thesis was entitled 'Tears of a Clown: Irony or Paradox?''

Two guns are pointing at each other in a peace sign.

"But, Jesus - you can't become an atheist."

"Great, now we're lost."

Energy Conservation Be Damned. Fred constantly prepared for Global Warming and Nuclear Winter to happen at the same time.

Inventing Time Travel

"If it's stupid but works, it isn't stupid."

Schrodinger's Cat Litter Box

"Experimental 'no government' zone next 200 miles—by order of Trump!"

Schrodinger's kittens