Moral Paradox Ponderers Gifts

'Divine Seating Plans'

"On a more positive note the guidance we’ve published on the services we can’t provide is published in 37 different languages."

Grad School Parent-Teacher Conference

The Artist

"Call me?"

"Listen to this: 'Technology reduces the time we spend on a given task, but increases the number of tasks we're expected to do.' Sounds like a no-win situation to me!"

Optimist

"This may surprise some of your viewers, but I didn't actually want to go into the box."

"Ok... for today I want a 500-word essay on what you know about nothing."

WANTED Dead or Alive - Schrodinger's Cat.

Schrödinger and his cat

"I have good news and bad news about your cat, Dr Schrodinger..."

"What's important is that we learn from what we must never admit happened."

'What I lack in cognitive flexibility, I make up for in moral flexibility.'

Another Time Travel Pair o' Ducks.

Sharing the Bed with Zeno

"Oh my God, help! Is there a logician on board?!"

"Pregnant!... How did that happen? We took precautions, like not having sex!"

"Most people forget they've had amnesia."

"Some day you'll look back at this and remember me as the person who taught you to fear water."

'My thesis was entitled 'Tears of a Clown: Irony or Paradox?''

"These are the care instructions. And if things don’t work out, there’s a recipe on the back."

Two guns are pointing at each other in a peace sign.

"But, Jesus - you can't become an atheist."

Inventing Time Travel

Energy Conservation Be Damned. Fred constantly prepared for Global Warming and Nuclear Winter to happen at the same time.

'As we all know, the appearance of honesty is the best policy....'

Schrodinger's kittens

"Experimental 'no government' zone next 200 miles—by order of Trump!"

A psychic mows the lawn.

"What the?! Have you read about the Schrodinger's cat paradox? That's really twisted dude!"

307 days without an accident.

Schrodinger's Cat Litter Box

"If it's stupid but works, it isn't stupid."