Moral Paradox Ponderers Gifts

'Divine Seating Plans'

"On a more positive note the guidance we’ve published on the services we can’t provide is published in 37 different languages."

Grad School Parent-Teacher Conference

The Artist

"Call me?"

"I'm sorry, but we're looking for someone who's more likely to be followed than following."

"Listen to this: 'Technology reduces the time we spend on a given task, but increases the number of tasks we're expected to do.' Sounds like a no-win situation to me!"

Optimist

"This may surprise some of your viewers, but I didn't actually want to go into the box."

"Ok... for today I want a 500-word essay on what you know about nothing."

WANTED Dead or Alive - Schrodinger's Cat.

"I have good news and bad news about your cat, Dr Schrodinger..."

Schrödinger and his cat

"What's important is that we learn from what we must never admit happened."

'What I lack in cognitive flexibility, I make up for in moral flexibility.'

Another Time Travel Pair o' Ducks.

"Oh my God, help! Is there a logician on board?!"

Sharing the Bed with Zeno

"Most people forget they've had amnesia."

"Some day you'll look back at this and remember me as the person who taught you to fear water."

"Pregnant!... How did that happen? We took precautions, like not having sex!"

'My thesis was entitled 'Tears of a Clown: Irony or Paradox?''

Desert island dweller sinks in sand.

"But, Jesus - you can't become an atheist."

Two guns are pointing at each other in a peace sign.

"These are the care instructions. And if things don’t work out, there’s a recipe on the back."

Inventing Time Travel

'As we all know, the appearance of honesty is the best policy....'

Energy Conservation Be Damned. Fred constantly prepared for Global Warming and Nuclear Winter to happen at the same time.

"I'm a huge fan of your work."

"What the?! Have you read about the Schrodinger's cat paradox? That's really twisted dude!"

Schrodinger's Cat Litter Box

"Experimental 'no government' zone next 200 miles—by order of Trump!"

A psychic mows the lawn.

"If it's stupid but works, it isn't stupid."