Legal Paradox Ponderer Gifts

'Are you sure it's necessary to sign this part declaring 'all information is true and correct to the best of my knowledge'?.'

'... And some primitive cultures, believed that 'the great ones' modelled us from clay.'

"On a more positive note the guidance we’ve published on the services we can’t provide is published in 37 different languages."

Grad School Parent-Teacher Conference

The Artist

'Things have really livened up down there since You introduced SEXUAL reproduction.'

The Philosopher Pine, or, The Eternal Optimist.

"I'm sorry, but we're looking for someone who's more likely to be followed than following."

"Have you been playing dice?"

"Intelligent design...well, duh!"

'Oh, so now the ocean isn't GOOD enough for you?'

"Listen to this: 'Technology reduces the time we spend on a given task, but increases the number of tasks we're expected to do.' Sounds like a no-win situation to me!"

"When we're home, are we still aliens?"

Freudian Bar & Grill...Jungian Pub: 'We can out drink those Freudians ant day of the week!...'And twice on Sunday!' ...'Yeah!' ... e

Sauce for the Goose

Optimist

I don't think I'm letting sunlight in when I open the curtains. I think the darkness is going out.

'Half an optimist is an odd bird, Sarah.'

"Ok... for today I want a 500-word essay on what you know about nothing."

"This may surprise some of your viewers, but I didn't actually want to go into the box."

"No, I don't want to live forever, but I damn sure don't want to be dead forever, either."

'Gosh, I dunno. You sure it's organic?'

"I guess now's as good a time as any."

WANTED Dead or Alive - Schrodinger's Cat.

'Look at it another way. Happiness can't buy you money!'

Schrödinger and his cat

"I have good news and bad news about your cat, Dr Schrodinger..."

'I hate to tell you this, but enlightenment just isn't for commuters.'

"What's important is that we learn from what we must never admit happened."

Another Time Travel Pair o' Ducks.

The probability of an event occurring is inversely proportional to its desirability.

Afraid of change - leave it here.

'Why am I the one always getting kicked?'

"It all started when I read somewhere that happiness is an inside job. Naturally, I assumed some breaking and entering was involved."

"A journey of a thousand miles must begin with a single malt."