Legal Ponderers Gifts

'As it turns out our rights weren't alienable after all.'

'... And some primitive cultures, believed that 'the great ones' modelled us from clay.'

'Things have really livened up down there since You introduced SEXUAL reproduction.'

The Philosopher Pine, or, The Eternal Optimist.

'Ignorance of the law is no excuse, especially when you're majoring in Law.'

"Have you been playing dice?"

"Intelligent design...well, duh!"

'Oh, so now the ocean isn't GOOD enough for you?'

Sauce for the Goose

Freudian Bar & Grill...Jungian Pub: 'We can out drink those Freudians ant day of the week!...'And twice on Sunday!' ...'Yeah!' ... e

God not-too-happy with the Humans sticking a 'Closing DOWN Sale!' sign on planet Earth

A small number of people are afraid of heights, but there is an epidemic fear of widths.

"When we're home, are we still aliens?"

'Half an optimist is an odd bird, Sarah.'

"I'm learning to live with existence."

I don't think I'm letting sunlight in when I open the curtains. I think the darkness is going out.

'The organizational structure is pretty simple: We do the work; they take the credit.'

"No, I don't want to live forever, but I damn sure don't want to be dead forever, either."

'Gosh, I dunno. You sure it's organic?'

"I guess now's as good a time as any."

Ten Commandments

'A man has to believe in something. I believe I'll have another drink!'

'I hate to tell you this, but enlightenment just isn't for commuters.'

'Look at it another way. Happiness can't buy you money!'

'At least I don't have his life.'

Afraid of change - leave it here.

The probability of an event occurring is inversely proportional to its desirability.

"A journey of a thousand miles must begin with a single malt."

'...and that is my philosophy.'

'Why am I the one always getting kicked?'

'As I recall you were the one who told him that he couldn't take it with him.'

"It all started when I read somewhere that happiness is an inside job. Naturally, I assumed some breaking and entering was involved."

"And the meaning of life is.... oh rats, the battery died."

"I think it's wrong to hunt them when they're in a house of worship."

"Now, my brave little soldier, do you have everything...an apple for your teacher, your satchel, pencils and books - your existential misery??"