Judgement Ponderer Gifts

Zagat Rated

'... And some primitive cultures, believed that 'the great ones' modelled us from clay.'

'Things have really livened up down there since You introduced SEXUAL reproduction.'

The Philosopher Pine, or, The Eternal Optimist.

"Have you been playing dice?"

"Intelligent design...well, duh!"

'Oh, so now the ocean isn't GOOD enough for you?'

Sauce for the Goose

"Needs to get a life"

Freudian Bar & Grill...Jungian Pub: 'We can out drink those Freudians ant day of the week!...'And twice on Sunday!' ...'Yeah!' ... e

"When we're home, are we still aliens?"

Extreme Sisyphus

'Half an optimist is an odd bird, Sarah.'

I don't think I'm letting sunlight in when I open the curtains. I think the darkness is going out.

'Doctor, I don't want to eat mouseburgers, I want to be normal like everybody else.'

"No, I don't want to live forever, but I damn sure don't want to be dead forever, either."

'Gosh, I dunno. You sure it's organic?'

"I guess now's as good a time as any."

'Look at it another way. Happiness can't buy you money!'

'I hate to tell you this, but enlightenment just isn't for commuters.'

The probability of an event occurring is inversely proportional to its desirability.

Afraid of change - leave it here.

'...and that is my philosophy.'

'Why am I the one always getting kicked?'

"A journey of a thousand miles must begin with a single malt."

"It all started when I read somewhere that happiness is an inside job. Naturally, I assumed some breaking and entering was involved."

"I advised a patient to take responsibilty for his own actions, and now he is suing me!"

'If you're omnipresent, why do I always have to climb way up here?'

"And the meaning of life is.... oh rats, the battery died."

Ivan Turgenev

Le Penseur (D' Apres Rodin)

"I think it's wrong to hunt them when they're in a house of worship."

"Ok, so I go back and forth… Then what?"

"Now, my brave little soldier, do you have everything...an apple for your teacher, your satchel, pencils and books - your existential misery??"

CCTV in church.