Prejudice Ponderer Gifts

'They all look alike to me.'

'... And some primitive cultures, believed that 'the great ones' modelled us from clay.'

'Things have really livened up down there since You introduced SEXUAL reproduction.'

The Philosopher Pine, or, The Eternal Optimist.

"Have you been playing dice?"

"Intelligent design...well, duh!"

'Oh, so now the ocean isn't GOOD enough for you?'

"Your assumption that a one in a million chance event MUST be a miracle shows you drastically underestimate the total number of regularly occurring events."

"When we're home, are we still aliens?"

Sauce for the Goose

A small number of people are afraid of heights, but there is an epidemic fear of widths.

"Needs to get a life"

Freudian Bar & Grill...Jungian Pub: 'We can out drink those Freudians ant day of the week!...'And twice on Sunday!' ...'Yeah!' ... e

'Doctor, I don't want to eat mouseburgers, I want to be normal like everybody else.'

I don't think I'm letting sunlight in when I open the curtains. I think the darkness is going out.

'Half an optimist is an odd bird, Sarah.'

"No, I don't want to live forever, but I damn sure don't want to be dead forever, either."

"I guess now's as good a time as any."

'Gosh, I dunno. You sure it's organic?'

"I don't know why I worry...Baldo's just a normal boy. It's good to see him maturing...making friends...with nice girls...exploring new feelings...and desires.... You have to go home now."

'Eve wants a second opinion about the apples.'

'I hate to tell you this, but enlightenment just isn't for commuters.'

'Look at it another way. Happiness can't buy you money!'

Afraid of change - leave it here.

The probability of an event occurring is inversely proportional to its desirability.

"A journey of a thousand miles must begin with a single malt."

'...and that is my philosophy.'

'Why am I the one always getting kicked?'

"It all started when I read somewhere that happiness is an inside job. Naturally, I assumed some breaking and entering was involved."

"And the meaning of life is.... oh rats, the battery died."

"I advised a patient to take responsibilty for his own actions, and now he is suing me!"

Ivan Turgenev

"I think it's wrong to hunt them when they're in a house of worship."

"Now, my brave little soldier, do you have everything...an apple for your teacher, your satchel, pencils and books - your existential misery??"

CCTV in church.