Legal Maverick Gifts

' Of course there isn't one law for the rich and another for the poor..There's only one impartial law. For all who can afford it.'

"You realise your fate will be decided by twelve people who were too stupid to get out of Jury service"

'Ignorance of the law is no excuse, especially when you're majoring in Law.'

"You can't prove that I broke it! Where's your physical evidence? Fingerprints or a DNA profile?"

'...and now, Gentlemen, we come to our final lecture in advanced cardiology...'

"Sorry, kid. No off-campus drinking until you're twenty-one."

'At Tesmer holdings, we don't break the rules! We change them!'

"We've also been given ten top employment law tips."

"Hurry, stop him!" (Dog running off with bone from man's x-ray).

'Not feeling well? Don't be silly - your EKG has outperformed the Dow.'

"Nurse, when I asked you to make the patient more comfortable I just meant plump up his pillows!"

"Some school - They teach us about the Fifth Amendment, but they won't let us use it on TESTS!"

Anti-war libra.

Sign in doctors office - Malpractice Makes Perfect.

'Excellent job, Fenwick, especially the part where you employ Magic Realism to fudge third-quarter earnings!'

Violent Crime Statistics

'How about a little smile for me. You've outlived my prediction!'

'A little more relaxant I think, nurse.'

'I like to think of the common bile duct as the gateway to the Bahamas.

"The ignorance of the lawyer is no excuse."

Lady Justice.

Ian McWit, Attorney at Law, Body by Joe's Gym, Mind by Harvard.

Health Care Crisis table.

'You got a search warrant, sheriff?'

"We can give you enough medication to alleviate the pain, but not enough to make it fun."

"I give up. Where's the patient?'

'I'm a practical nurse! -- I know better than to listen to doctors!'

These drug will cost you an arm and a leg...the good news is, my wife and I own stock in the company that makes them.

'Remember - do not try to plant the seeds from these apples. They're intellectual property, and they're copyrighted.'

'In the doctor's defense, there have been no serious post operative complications.'

Lady Justice wears a blindfold, but listens through headphones to a tape recorder on one of her scales.

'It was more than my finest hour, Paltrow. It was my finest billable hour.'

'I thought he was joking. I didn't think my husband would really turn me in to the FDA!'

'I told you, if the LA branch steals our thunder, there is no more dialogue.'

'We the jury find the defendant very, very, very, guilty.'